( come bearing gifts )

thde2800 02:16 p.m.
just a quick note and an open ended invitation:

calling all rapists, arsonists, and axe murderers!
my name is colleen and my family is out of town.
i can be found @ 164 queen street.
i am alone.
comeandgetme.*  

        (*please note: the battery is out of my downstairs smoke alarm...and i can't find it again to put it back in. that should help all you firebugs. but as for the rest of you bad apples who intend on coming within 30 feet chez moi to, say, oh, i don't know...rape and torture me perhaps, prepare to meet with a barrage of boobie traps. home alone style. paint cans from the stairs, staple and bb guns, tar and feathers and nails on stairs and hot hot irons. watch yahself! and then of course once you get past that calamity course there's...me.. and i'm a whole other pitbull entirely.)

must clean up. must do dishes. must take shower. must get dressed. must go grocery shopping. (must try out shaving cream and slap cheeks in pain and scream impishly. culkin style...)

the xmas tree is attacking me,
/colleen

wede2700 12:11 a.m.
ok...i'm sorry for the incoherance of the earlier message. but, as i said, that's what comes of listening to kida on headphones. it gives you weird, freaky psycho urges, urges i usually manage to repress. at school do you find me sitting under the desks in every class instead of the chairs? no. but does that mean i don't violently want to most times? no it doesn't. i just somehow manage to stop myself. well, earlier it was 'i don't wanna use the space bar at all. everything will look better as one word.' (don'tquestion thelogic. justsmile andnod. ) and suddenly i can't stop myself. i did manage to negotiate it down to only not using the space bar when using parentheses, and only then 2 words at a time.

these are things that get you medicated my friend.

anyway, so...if you're curious here is a partial list of my xmas gifts. this is just off the top of my head, there are a few that aren't down there that i got from mom or santa. and this is the supergrass auction i won, that i will pay for with xmas money.yeah.

i have to fucking work tomorrow, from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. basically, the peak hours for the unsatisfied and the picky to rush into our store and try to exchange or return their shit. but, tough titties if you want to exchange ladies, we have absolutely nothing to sell you. we are unbelievably picked over at the moment. you won't find your size. in fact we may be out of your piece of merchandise entirely. and you know no one will have a receipt and there will be a million cranky ol' pennypinching women in tomorrow. joy. and all because of the miracle of jesus' birth... (thanksjesus )

tude2600 02:15 p.m.
ok...listen echoecho.com, quit patronizing me, ok? it's throwing my non-knowledge of tables in my face. it's taunting me with it's little 'design tips' and 'website facts'. ok....thank you. now i know that the 10 most visited websites have not a word written outside of tables and the use of invisible tables is the most popular in well designed sites. well...this isn't a well-designed site, alright? who ever said it was? and i don't know tables. so suck on that.

(ishowedhim. didn'ti? )

haha. ok.alright. yeah. hmmm. where'd that train of thought get to? pullin' out the station! so watch yerselves!

(whatwas igoing tosay? )

christmas! that's it! ok, well...it happened yesterday. (theend. nojustkidding. ) strangely, i had thoughts on this. but i can't remember them. i'm a little puzzled about yesterday. it went through flashes of not feeling like xmas, then feeling like xmas or having fun, then really not having fun. dunno. and i feel the separation of child and adult (andchurchandstate. hahanojustkidding ). cos...well...when i have to be santa myself, all the mystery and everything is gone. i mean i stopped believing in grade 3 (andif youwant toget technical,never. idoubt iever reallyactually believedit. ialways suspectedsomething wasup. ) but i don't like having so much inside knowledge. staying up so late, but going to bed before mom started on the stockings. i'm having a harder time trying to get to bed now then i ever did when i was just a wiggly 6 year old. blah. i believe that's the end of the tracks for that train of thought.

never, ever listen to kid a on a discman. never, you got me?

cherakee is sick for xmas. poor little cherakee. i would hate to be sick on xmas i remarked to my mother as we drove away from dropping off cher's present @ cher's house on xmas eve, i hope i never get sick on or around xmas. but_you_did! my mother said. when you were 2 you opened 3 presents and then threw up. you opened the rest of your presents with a bucket sitting next to you, and threw up several more times. your older sister was not very amused. and i cackled the rest of the way home over that one (idon't remember thatxmas ).

yeah...i was going to plunk down and finish my layout and stuff but now echoecho has put me off that task. sorry to anyone who was waiting with baited breath. (iguess you'rejust goingto haveto diewaiting! unlessyou takea breath. thatwould bea wisething todo. that'smy advice. ) and everyone from the net is gasp spending time with their families. poutness. what the hell is up with that? families? at xmas? shouldn't you be on the net? isn't_the_net_you're_family?. !don't join a cult if you can't keep up! (wordsto liveby fromcolleen ) so yeah..i've talked to alex and found out what she got and blahblahblah. but no word from amanda. i should call that crazy bitch and see how her crazy_bitch_christmas went. i wonder how long she managed to ride the broncho. i'm gonna disconnect and call her, and maybe later i'll post my list of xmas presents. oh, bytheway i won my supergrass ebay auction. for a total of $11.50 american it's all mine children, all mine.

and again i reiterate...never kida on headphones children, n e v e r.

c_o_l_l_e_e_n.

thde2100 10:39 p.m.
ok...i'm sitting here in a dress. and those of you who know me in real life know that that is a statement that i do not often utter. ( in fact, it's been just about 2 years since i've worn one! )hey...it's not even a dress! it's just a slip! and i wore it to the damn formal dinner party anyway. ( it was all female, so they understood ) i stuck my new knee length charchaol button up sweater whose-it whats-it...thing over it. i wore my little star necklace, grey panty hose and my grey mary janes. and my red and black tiara. OH, and i stuck my red rose hair elastic around my wrist in case my hair started to bother me. hmmm...somehow there's a pebble in my pantyhose. yeah, by my right foot...but in the panty hose. what the freak? anyway, it was an interesting party. half of us wondered every 5 minutes if we were in trouble with our hostesses ( cos we had never been to an "adult" party before and weren't sure how to act )

last night alex was over. she had the opportunity to go to hali to get my gift, so of course it was fabulous and i gave her a small weird gift ( the new end of year entertainment weekly, riviera barbie, and this pocket taurus horoscope thingie... ) to tide her over until i got to hali to get her something equally fabulous, which would be after xmas. she got me a turquoise sparkly tiara, a tin of 'princess mints' and a tin that said 'princess' on it ( which totally shocked me, i don't even know if she's aware i collect tins... ) an 'aries' candle and candle holder, a celtic foot shaped rock thingie that is a candle holder, and the mgb 'raygun' ep...which i already have and gave back to her. mwah. we sat around and talked, she read her entertainment weekly and my new rolling stone. i pulled out my daily notes and did some work on them while she was over ( somehow, i'm very efficient at them when alex is over. i need her to force me to stop and glue the damn thing on and quit thinking over other options ) we made ourselves bailey's irish cream drinks which i hated and didn't drink. thenw e wnet on the computer and headed over to 'pink fuzzy dice' to harrass it, just as i had done with amanda 2 days before. gee...it's been quiet at psycho-jello today. fuck, i hope i didn't annoy everyone too much with my crackwhore rantings. i hope i still have a hosted webpage and domain friends.

oh, and then on monday amanda came over as i believe i noted. and got the poster...and watched 'it's the rage' or something like that. uh! has anyone seen that? did gary sinise not break your little useless heart with his pitifulness? or his inadeptness at eating pasta? bah!... amanda ended up drinking, like 3 cans of root beer ( and therefore, urinated frequently ) and we ate party mix...except the pretzels. does anyone ever eat the pretzels in party mix? we should petition the company to leave the pretzels out. poor pretzels. they have low self esteem. ....we sat around and talked, we went on the comp and ...harrassed pink fuzzy dice, she showed me funny thom yorke pictures and i showed her gaz's baby brother... we listened to each other's mix tapes and she scanned my magazines ( and somehow unearthed a supergrass picture that i missed! hallelujah! probably cos i was never really expecting to find a supergrass picture in like, a teen magazine from summer 1997. ) we listened to pj harvey's new cd...which made amanda beat my comp lamp up and and me pole dance with my bedroom door frame...heh. gotta stop smokin' that crack...

oh hey...gasp of gasps...why don't i go work on my old, dusty, spiderweb encrusted webpage? there's a thought...

and they were all y_e_l_l_o_w,
leenie.

tude1900 01:48 p.m.
well i was going to apologize for freaking and jumping the gun and becoming near hysterical about the domain disappearing...because last night it did return...but now it's gone again. but now i'm nearly so freaked out cos i know it will return again!

blah...and i was going to post about my mini-xmas party with amanda last night [i have quite the social calendar this week! tomorrow night alex and i have our little mini-xmas party, and then thurs. i'm going to a formal xmas dinner for crying out loud!]...but i've already spent like 2 fucking hours on the web, and not even doing anything constructive...shite. i still have to find time to turn the bridgewater mall topsy turvy for miss alex 'i'm incredibly hard to shop for this year' rogers [that's ok alex! i stil love you! even if you kicked my ass during bowling on sun...ok wait...scratch that. everyone kicked colleen's ass at bowling on sunday. 39? i can't believe i got a 39 on that last string...altho, that was after i chugged the mike's hard lemonade and the pins began to get blurry and the little arrows too...] and i believe the tree is prepped and ready downstairs to be 'trimmed'...i don't know when i'm gonna get all my shit done.

but oh yeah! there was apoint to this post. a m a n d a_g a v e_m e_a_s u p e r g r a s s_p o s t e r_f r o m_e b ay! and now suddenly i'm an ebay addict and here is a list of things i'm considering bidding on:01 02 03 04 05 06 i have become the ebay monster! ok...i probably won't bid on 04 cos altho it rocks and is huge it's 12.99 in british pounds i beleive. that's a lotta crappy worthless canadian dollars. i want 05 the mostmostmost! and ooh...i'm iffy about the chicago cab soundtrack. we'll see. it only has one supergrass song on it! but it's only 4 american dollars. hmm. and maybe someone can email me and explain to me whether the s&h is paid in my currency or THEIR currency. [like, if the person is american and they want $2 s&h, they want that in american, oui?]

oh...and did anyone know that i am the Lesbian Sidedish Extrodinaire? yeah. everyone wants me! at the staff bowling party on Sunday alex and i were the only ones who didn't bring anyone so we told everyone we came together and that we're "lesbian life partners"...and amanda is my 'pussy power!' buddy from way back when. she wants me. at any opportunity in drama class we cast ourselves as "lesbian life partners" and hold hands for the class. and now guess who wants me? amanda's mother! yes. she saw me crossing the bridge last week, and apparently she wolf whistled me and made crude comments that amanda relayed back to me that frankly, i will not relay to you since this is a family oriented pita, god damnit! ( ok...i'm exagerating she just said i wasn't bad looking....)

it's the hair. chicks dig the hair.

mode1800 06:45 p.m.
ok...yeah...my page is gone. but thats because seemingly the whole domain is gone. fuckfuckfuckfuck.

ok...amanda should be over soon so thers nothing i can do now. ummm....yeah. maybe i'll do an entry tomorrow if i find time. i'm done exams as of today, but am still very very busy. [we just got our tree today, and i don't know when the hell we'll decorate it. tomororw i have to go out and absolutely toss the mall upside down and inside out in search of a decent gift for alex.blah...au revoir..

frde1500 05:21 p.m.
oh holy hell the apocalypse has finally arrived! nostradamus was RIGHT the world will come to an end in the new millenium! heartattack! holy freakin' coronary! my supergrass cd just skipped....twice...call a doctor, someone, ANYONE! ( i knew i'd wear the damn thing out eventually... )

on a related note...i had a whole other heart attack this afternoon whilst writing law. i guess i was erasing too vigarously or something, but my scantron answer card went flying off my damn desk and landed perfectly in my friend jake's view [who was behind me, also writing law.]. and of course it didn't matter what side it landed on cos there was answers on both sides...and i heard jake chuckle cos it was perfectly in his view...so i sat there for a moment trying to decide what to do, hoping the teachers at the front who had all watched it happen would come and rescue it..then i put up my hand and had a teacher come pick it up for me. suddenly, i felt like all eyes were persecuting me! i wanted to insist "no! no! i'm not cheating...really i'm not!" and take a polygrapgh test write then and there to prove my innocence.

frde1500 04:30 p.m.
oh red and green....how original! ( shut up i feel festive. )

so...i wrote the dreaded chem exam today...and so all i'll say ( for fear of jinxing my mark...i'm not particularly superstitious, but let me have this one...i just think i have bad luck and god has it in for me...wow i can't believe i just said "i'm not particularly superstitious" and i'm the girl who nods nervously and vocally greets Weird Dolly hello every day when she passes her. Weird Dolly is this doll who is sorta freaky and leans up against the wall behind the computer who i'm extra nice to in the offchance she comes alive at night and exacts revenge on people [namely me. holy crap the chuckie movies have messed me up...]. oh fuck she's right behind me. now i'm in trouble...she's probably watching meeee....ahhhhhhh! she can probably read my thoughts and knows i'm talking about her!....if you never hear from me again, you know what happened... ) ...hey wait a sec...what was i saying? oh right, the chem exam: it wasn't as hard as i thought it would be. i mean, he could have put a tonne of other stuff that i didn't know or understand on there...the ball was definitely in his court to make it excrutiatingly awful. but all in all...i think i didn better than i expected to do. lol...watch me fail the damn thing! that always happens to me! god, i wish i had some wood somewhere in my vicinity that i could knock on without having to actually get out of my chair! suck...my computer table/center thingie is imitation wood..heh. somehow that strikes me as extrodinairily funny. shut up it's been a long and ardous past 2.5 weeks...

oh and i wrote law this afternoon. again, i don't want to say too much only to find out i totally bombed the thing, but that should be a good good mark. do you wanna know why? cos my law teacher gave us a sample law exam from a few years ago to study and then proceeded to put every_frickin_question from the sample exam on the actual exam and then added like, 4 new ones and that was our exam! so if i bomb, then we'll finally declare without any doubt in our heads that colleen is a hopeless clueless idiot. how can i not get a great mark? ( believe me...colleen can always find a way...i think i've failed scholastically from every possible angle by now... )

oi. in walking to school i have to pass through the elementary school playground. which is always quite the battlescene. but today with the snow and ice and everything it was twice the warzone. this poor, unfortunate, idiot of a kid picked the wrong day ( hello...as i'm just about to write a freakin' chem exam ) to throw snow at miss colleen hennan. I stopped, whipped around and howled at the kid " WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!?! " and the kid stopped dead in his tracks and dropped the little idiot grin off his little idiot face and mumbled quite pathetically "i...thought you were someone else..." which of course, i knew to be bullshit cos he looked me in the eye as i passed 3 metres away from him and waited til i was beyond him so he could throw the snow at my ass. it was quite intentional. i saw that evil little grin spread on his face, and i saw that evil little idea cross his mind as i watched him watch me pass by. and something in my mind even said "he's gonna throw that snow at you colleen..."

but then afterschool my faith in the children of the '90's was restored as i walked past the little kindergarten 'holding area' [the primaries have a special fenced off playground of their own. it's quite comical and zoo like. jake pointed that out today...] on my way to pick up my little brother and this cute little kid came running out and jumped on a piece of equipment. i watched him as i ate my candycane and continued walking, and he looked at me and his eyes lit up and he shrieked "candy cane!" with so much delight i started laughing. it was precious...

ok...scratch that...i hate the little '90's brats again. my brothers have just come inside from playing with the awfulevil kids from up the road. one of them was kicking my brother in the stomach and punching him in the face and calling him a jerk. however, i'd have more sympathy for my brother if he would have just come inside and tattled to me [heh. i encourage my brothers to wimp out and tattle...hey, it always worked for me...] instead of like, hitting him back and trying to showoff by calling him a jerk back and breaking a tree branch or something. blah. and my other brother james ganged up on him with these 3 damn kids from up the road! i especially wanted andrew to come get me so i could send the kids home and chew them out. i used to babysit these kids. in fact i was asked to babysit them tomorrow but i work til 6:30 and i still have an exam to study for. i've been asked like, 10 times to babysit this week. what's up with that? hello, no i'm not working this week....because i was given time off for 'E-X-A-M-S'. and no...i can't study for exams while babysitting your kids...

i'm starting to get a little phlegmtastic...blah...thanks manda. merry xmas to me and here's a nice virus instead of a card...oh speaking of virus, my sister is coming home sometime this weekend. .......lol, ok re-reading that i should probably mention that she is incredibly sick at the moment as well and will probably bring home her virus and leave it here after she returns to university. just like she did to my dad when she returned to university in september [he and his roomate were still sick a month later.] i haven't seen my sister since Oct. 4th. i didn't get to see her @ thanksgiving since i was in t.o.

ok...i should go. i may update after my staff xmas party on sun. [lordy...we're going bowling. you probably don't understand the magnitude of this since you don't know the enormity of the emotional problems of my co-workers. and then of course they're bringing their most likely equally as freakish spouses/boyfriends etc... and then on TOP of that, they plan on getting smashed before bowling. great. drunken bowling with the other women who work at northern reflections. alex and i have contemplated getting sauced ourselves...if only to numb the entire experience...] oh i forgot to mention i cleaned out the links in here...cleared out the 404 messages and what not. and i added status bar hints as to where the damn links might lead...

supergrasssupergrasssupergrass
/colleen