tuju2601&01:18 p.m. /
audio:

suju2401&11:05 p.m. / wear your riggin' before you go jiggin'
audio: lucky - radiohead

suju2401&06:30 p.m. / she's a fortune cookie full of nasty puns and prose
audio: mile end - pulp

where the ma heck is jamie? i would like to inform her that i shouted 'mullets are cool!' out a moving car's open window at a large gathering of hicks. i feel like she would proud of me is all. i also shouted a barrage of other obscenties that ranged from 'nice arse' to umm...'i like yer testicles.' he. to be young and juvenile.

frju2201&12:01 a.m. / tomorrow might never come
audio: n/a

i went to a party this evening. it was funfunfun. but then the end was a little weird. oh well. cos up until then it was lots of fun. now i am cold cos i wondered around in wet clothes for 2 hours. ah-choo.

i'm having trouble believing school is over. the next week or so is still busy and stuff...and it remains to be seen just how much i will be working over the summer. see, i was just in my [still mammoth] email and i think i have to quit the rufus list...the amount of postings are insane. and then, the supergrass lsit has inexplicably picked up[nowhere near the level of the rufus list...holy god. he jsut put out an album, tho.] and i'm deleting the few pieces of junk mail, and most of the rufus stuff [unless the 're:' intrigues me...] and i'm all 'wow. i have a pile of email to read. i'll jsut have to wait until____'s are over- wait a sec. everything is over." now all the things that i have earmarked for "after exams" must be completed. shit. there's a lot of things here people.
a)get beginners.
b)clean room.
c)do portfolio.
....and there are scads more that i have conveniently forgotten.

i work tomorrow. eep. first time in 2 weeks. colleen screws up madly. 4 hours tho folks! mind you, that's only 2 hours worth of money that only goes into my pocket [$12.50]. so broke. so broke.

haha. i love supergrass. i will leave everyone with a warm fuzzy supergrass thought as they trundle off to bed:

Ali G: Now, I aint got much time but cause i like you, i is gonna give you a little bit of help.
Gaz: OK
Ali G: First up, you gotta shave dose burns man. I mean, no one 'as ever got into de top ten by looking like a monkey. Now de second fing is, just cause your band is called supertramp, don't mean that you need to dress like a homeless, you know? I is gonna give you de number of me uncle Jamal, he can sort you out-
Gaz: Is he, is he a supertramp fan is he?
Ali G: No, but he 'as dressed none other than Apatche Indian."

thju2101&11:59 a.m. / loose grip on very tight ship
audio: nude as the news - cat power

i wish i could find the two videos on the net cos you need to see the videos to understand. i taped the rock machine video the other night. when i make my dorky little tapes [if i ever get money!] i'll try and put those on there.

dear matthew jay,
shut up. you do sound quite like nick drake. in the future, please be nicer to him, as he is dead, and there is no need to besmirch his already tragic name. thank you, and by all means continue to make some really rather cool music. -leen.

speaking of mr. plaskett, i found out the other day that his father is BRITISH! his dad and him did an interview on much. i didn't get that taped, alas. i got his new video taped, which rocks so much. so does the dong. oh joel...Lanky Rockstar.

today i wrote my last exam. it was ALL multiple choice baby! 180 scantron questions. i'm down with the scantron. he had to give us 2 cos, it didn't all fit on one card. jake and i were cracking up on the phone the night before, picture a gigantic 20 foot long scantron card. haha. so i think i should have a decent law mark. i was done jsut as the minimum time was up. refreshing. oh, and see...jake sat behind me as he did during the history exam. during history we were cracking up over the spider that came skulking about near us that i viciously killed. RIGHT before the exam started today, i turned to him and said "i hope there are no spiders today!" and what do you know? halfway throuh i catch movement out of the corner of my eye and there is this weird ass bug crawling around us. i cannot kill it with my short shrimpy legs. so it got away the nasty little bugger.

my day is not over. i msut: 1) go back to school w/ my backpack and clean out my locker. i am debating elaving my famous coconut monkey air freshener in ther for the person next year. however, i really dislike most of the grade 10's. hmmmm. maybe i should give it to anne....the various odors my locker produced invariably ticked her off. heh heh.
2)bake my special brownies. that everyone loves at parties. not because there is pot in them, jsut because they are good fudge brownies. that i bring to parties. that everyone loves. there's not pot in them...really
3)shower. oi vy.
4)maybe shave my legs. i feel like bleeding today. heh.
5) go see that play thingy that cher and jake and ellen and erin put together @ 2.
6) ooh alex called. i'm going out with her!

seventeen jsut sent me some really teenybooperish address labels. aha...teenybooper? i'm leaving that one in there...anyway. they say 'ms. hennan.' fuckers. probably couldn't spell my name. oh yeah...and james doesn't have chicken pox. he just had a lot of bug bites. baha...stupid us.

weju2001&03:55 p.m. /
audio: let the rock machine roll -copyright [it's in my head]

and i am DETERMINED to prove that copyright are a band i remember from 1997. and i have proved that they had an album called love story. but see the thing is that i don't...quite...remember them like they are now. their new video makes me think of rammstein for some reason. cherakee and amanda hate the song. i am intrigued by it.

it's fucking hot. i have to go back to studying. fucky mcshit.

weju2001&01:47 p.m. / can't you see i'm on a losing streak
audio: satisfaction - cat power

jake's birthday was yesterday. happy birthday him. we stopped over briefly for cake anf to watch him open his leather jacket. and the funnyfunnyfunny thing was that on monday night, the night before jake's seventeenth birthday they played 'edge of 17' on the telly!

yesterday was also nick drake's birthday. and colleen forgot. amanda read it in her trashy newspaper. i forgot he and jake shared a birthday. oh, nick...SOB!

oh right: one bad thing about matthew jay. he was somewhat dismissive of nick drake during the new music special. he's compared to nick drake a lot, and he claims not to know much about nick drake besides that he was "some bloke who may have topped himself." [paraphrased]. listen matthew, could you be a bit more sensitive? nick drake was hurting!

weju2001&12:51 p.m. / say jump and i say how high. say jump and i say i might.
audio: faraway (acoustic) - supergrass

a)matthew jay is in one word: adorable. and umm...cool. i don't care if that's 2. yes i saw the lads are alright. i taped it cos i'm gonna make all my internet friends VHS compilation tapes once i get some money to buy vcr cords and blank tapes [ i NEVER said i was cool, alright?].
2) edge of seventeen is such an AMAZING movie! i didn't shut the tv off after watching QEEF on monday, and it's the pride week [holy lord do i love the drag queen/gap parody commercials. ] and o. my. GOD! not only is the main character TRES weezersque [meow], and bloody talented actor...his performance is heartbreaking without being sappy and he is so so so good. ALSO this movie is set in the early 80's, and get this: for the first 20 minutes i thought this was actually a movie from 83/84 until i checked the telepromter and it said 1998. yeah. i'm in the process od looking this boy up. his name is...uhh..chris stafford. yeah. here's the official site.
c) what? ok...make up your mind colleen, letters or numbers? letters ok. yeah. so i wrote math this morning. i write law tomorrow and then i'm done children. it was quite amusing. cos it was s-s-s-s-sirette!'s exam. at one point he was talking to a student a few rows over in a hushed tone and amanda and i cracked up cos all you could hear was "mumblemumblemumble-WHISTLE-mumble-WHISTLEWHISTLE-mumblemumble" oh lord. that man and his poisonous dagger S's. and then later on, some bratty kid from the elementary started throwing either a ball or another smaller kid at the gym doors. at this point s-s-s-sirette! was closest so he started walking towards the doors and opens them and starts telling the kid to go away. he closes the door and starts to walk away, confident that he'd dealt with the problem, and the kid starts doing it again and the whole gym starts laughing at s-s-s-sirette!'s inability to be threatening or appear imposing, even to small children. so surette [his actual name. i'm getting tired of the hypens and italics and exclamation points....] goes back and opens the door again and some grade 12 boy [a really scrawny one too] gets up and goes out with him, and the banging stops.
d) at one point during the exam i swear to god i heard amanda drool behind me. and at more than one point during the exam, i wanted to hack off her sniffly nose. and throw it at surette.
e)ok..umm..while looking up chris stafford i have discovered [belatedly, unfortunately] that VH1 ran a supergrass greatest hits thing 2 days ago. shit on a stick. ok, well, it's not like i have VH1 but i could have gotten someone to tape it for me.
f) after zee exam i went to mr. pennyloafers room to turn in my copy of sunshine sketches of a litte town. however, one does not pop in and out of penny's room, and when we arrived we found him watching an eric clapton unplugged, with jon carruthers. i don't know if jon was there by choice. i put my book on the table but penny never checked me off in his book, so there will no doubt be some confusion come september when he wants to know where my sunshine sketches book is. at any rate, at one point when penny and jon have quit trying to one-up each other with their limp dick guitar knowledge, penny goes "and what about you..can we make a musician out of you" and i was't paying attention, i didn't realise he was talking to me. i told him i had a background in percussion. "but what about singing?" her persisted and i told him pointblank "i'm tonedeaf. i suck." but he insists that i would make a good jazz/blues singer because i have "the attitude". i agree that in those particular genres, it's more attitutde and feelings than perfect notes and pitches. i resisted telling him that amanda has repeatedly compared my singing to courtney love's, cos he probably wouldn't know what i was talking about. so there you have it. my third career prediction care of penny. i will stick that one up on the shelf with the other two [a)boatbuilding on the cost of wales and b)acting or secret third option c]anything to do with kinesiology].
g) my friends are yearbook editors next year. alex, ellen, missie, anne, and erin. rock! i'm so excited for them. i think they're going to a great job, cos this year we had 4 yearbook editors and it was the best yearbook yet. with 5 it should be even better! and also, i can hang ou in the eyarbook room. and maybe take pictures. and alex will keep the yearbook room cleaner than the newspaper room. hurrah!
h)i have to play phonetag with a bunch of people to tell them that our video cast party is tomorrow. at alex's. and to bring some food. and their yearbooks. yes. and also call amanda to make sure her parents are buying hamburgers and stuff.

yeah. i should go do all that. it's almost 2 pm. i had 10 million thousand more things to say. but my little alzheimers head has forgotten. and the audience breathes a sigh of relif. she's stopping! she's leaving! she's going away! chris party our party grand march

moju1801&05:47 p.m. /
audio: n/a

moju1801&05:22 p.m. /
audio: n/a

moju1801&04:55 p.m. /
audio: n/a

(i for one, am relieved. i was like "the kid is 8 he's not supposed to get zits yet!")

moju1801&03:28 p.m. / think of it this way, you could either be successful or be us
audio: jeolous of your cigarette -hawksley workman

moju1801&02:50 p.m. / you smashed it with your eyes
audio: tower of learning - rufus wainwright

chem nearly killed me. and my ashes were nearly blown away by the fan after alex got up to leave. oh well. it's over. now i have to face down the slippery tongued monsters' math exam. perhaps i'll wear my tape x's on my boobs again. all the PRE-verted old yucky teachers [there seems to be jsut one female teacher supervising this year. one and one only. and don't think i didn't notice that she was the only one actually working...and that the men ignored and excluded her. bastids.] will stare and become transfixed [colleen and the world's most MESMERIZING rack...] and i will cheat freely and openly without being caught. winkwink!

i umm...NEED to go back to pete's frootique. could i jsut sit in the toodledeedoo section maybe? possibly? is that ok with store security? may i sniff the crisps and titter over the quaint and silly names? wave BACK at the queen [and jsut as obnoxiously too]? i have this overwhelming urge to go back to pete's frootique. good store. good times.

so......half me exams are over. ummm...alex? how is sunday? jake's birthday party is NEXT weekend. and he will probably be back from his dad's by sunday [lol...BUT ONLY IF HE BOOKS IT!!!! god bless you sailor moon, and your crackass expressions.]...so how's sunday? we ummm...just have to invite the people [after we see the church and see the steeple...] and amanda volunteered her parents money for hotdogs and hamboogers. i think we're alone now. i saw the sign. from the bottom of my broken heart. hangin' tough. i love the nightlife. one bad apple don't spoil the bunch. gonna make you sweat.

sincerely, the treasurer of the now defunct Whigfield FanKlub. [oh where has she gone!? i worry you know...]

suju1701&01:05 p.m. / blue veins, blue...
audio:n/a

hey. if livejournal had a texttriangle instead of a textbox then i'd be in like flynn. yep. i'm partial to triangles.

ding dong the bitch is gone! for a week! hurrah!

i'm bored. booooreeed. i don't want to study. it's not going so well. i have so many questions. i feel like frigging calling up williamson and ASKING him "are we allowed our periodic tables and polyatomic ion sheets? and if so would it be considered cheating if i wrote out some of the obscure ones like ozone and methane on them?" suck. last night beofre iw ent to bed i taped myself reading over my study sheets twice. i planned to rig my alarm closck to go over at 4: 40 AM, but i would set it to radio and have the tape paused and blahblahblah...i would end up playing the tape to myself as i sleep. i'm a big fan of the subconcious, yo. i'm into dream interpretation and hypnosis and suggestion and all that good crap. however i forgot to turn my alarm clock ON. i set it and everything. but it didn't work. heh...io also included some encouragement for my subconcious...every once in a while i'd interrupt my chemistry notes to intone "you can do well. you're a smart girl and you can defeat apathy. kick williamson's ass. chemistry isn't all that hard...". oh lameness.

how did i BURN my stirfry in the microwave...considering i cooked it for less time and less power than i was supposed to? and HOW is this stuff 508 calories?

i need a polaroid camera. need one i tell you. i wish i could cruise some garage sales. it's peak season you know. i am a garage sale WHORE.

ok tre is no longer a scarymeanjerkface. he's just pathetic. and i officially pity him. how many times can you bellow 'RETARD!' in a person's face and remain frightening? you're instantly downgraded to 'loser w/ issues.' i wonder where his parents are? i wonder what the fuck made him so frigging insecure. i wonder how he's going to feel at the end of the year when he leaves the loft, and has to go BACK into society, only to realise that canadians hate him. hate!

frju1501&02:26 p.m. /
audio:dying isn't easy - damon albarn

1) after my exam, i went to the art room with cherakee to neaten up my portfolio. before the exam i slipped my year end art reflection under the door. she had wanted us to reflect on our favorite pieces from this year. i said it was hard, because i didn't like many of my pieces. i had had a disappointing art year...blahblahblah...i liked my sloan thingy. so when i walk in she goes "colleen! i read your reflection...were you in a dark mood or something when you wrote it?" i'm like "uhhh...no...." but she insists on pressing further: "i thought i'd talked to your mom about this...you shouldn't feel inferior because your technical skill is not equal to your creative skill..blahblahblha...in the long run it's the idea that's important...you have consistently good ideas...you jsut don't develop them enough. you give up at the first sign of something veering off course...you're one of my better students...i realise you struggle...." and so on and so forth. i sort of nodded and 'mmhmmed' and agreed, trying to make her stop_TALKING. you know it's funny...cos i thought she HATED me. really. my mark in art is so bad this year. and i really haven't been pleased with much of what i've produced. but i'm ALLOWED, ok? it's my prerogative to be displeased, oui? my ideas, once my strongest area [and umm...the only thing that saved me...] weren't really forthcoming this year. i was bored with the projects and pretty apathetic towards whatever she was doing...it was no longer my main goal to crack tiffany up with a crazy idea. instead i sat with cherakee and amanda and felt like an idiot for being in art... sometimes they didn't have ANY ideas, and instead plunged forward and still managed to create something that pleased her and was very pretty. and maybe they weren't pleased with what they did. fine. they're allowed. as am i. so THERE.

2) i was nearly attacked during my exam. ok not really. the spider was only tiny, but still it was COMING_NEAR! i wasted at least 5 minutes staring at the thing as it made it's way towards me. we're not allowed to move or talk or get out of our seats so i was fucking cornered. and goddamn did it ever take it's sweet time getting close enough for me to squash it. from behind me i heard jake start to laugh as quietly as he could. it got close enoguh for my little legs and i whipped one out and STOMPED on it. haha sucka.

3) i really wanted this for grading. this guy has been selling them since at least january. and i knew i wouldn't have 20-30 bucks to spare..so i thought i would maybe get some for grading. however, it's now gotten too expensive. plus, it looks like i'm not getting anything for grading. see, it's unlikely i'll get honours. regardless, last year i got 2 tickets to supergrass even tho i didn't make honours. [reason #3 why it's ahrd to study this eyar: last year i had supergrass tickets dangling in front of me. this year i have nothing. zip. just a lot of debt.]. see...i'm going to europe next year. that's probably my 'grading' present. am i bitch for seriously resenting this god damned europe trip? i don't MAJORLY want to go...and i'm paying half of my paycheques for this thing...that mom is 60% forcing me to go on. she absically said to me "you're going to europe..." and then "i'm not paying for the whole thing." thanks. so anyway...if i'm lucky, for grading maybe mom will forgive part or all of my $70 debt to her. yay. is that ever a way to say "thanks for not purposely flunking grade 11 for us cos your father and i knew you wanted to..." or even worse...they'll put money IN the europe trip account as a gift...something they'd do anyway...

oh and here's the cherry: small dick from next store has an EQUALLY annoying whippersnipper.

frju1501&02:09 p.m. /
audio:one man guy - rufus wainwright

frju1501&01:14 p.m. /
audio:what if feels like for a girl (radio) - madonna

i hate summer. it was above 30 degrees [C] hier. can heat give you a knot in your stomach? cos i had one all last night. i think i associate heat with panic attacks...the sweating and the inability to breathe. that may be my problem. it's fucking hard to study when it's so hot. it's hard to study period. stuck in the living room all day...listening to "the ceeb" [aww yeah...big up 2 da canadians in da house. yoyoyo underfundedpublicradio.] now, i like the cbc. it's my favorite radiostation. however, i can't stand hearing the same damn news stories every 1/2 hour ok? i listened to it solidly from 1-6 pm. do the math and tell me how many times i heard about the romanian stowaways in halifax, stockwell GAY's proposed referendum thingie [ok dude...i see your line of thinking.. merge as many political parties as you can until you get enough seats to defeat the liberals. hey...there'll be less choice, but at least you'll get to win one, won't ya stocky! jesus. the way i see it, the more parties the better. you don't need to merge with the conservatives. your party is a baby yet, stockwell, why don't you wait and see if it grows into it's nose before disowning it for being ugly?], and the stupid fucking ns gov't's further mistreatment of our nurses [alright fuckers...nurses don't neglect patients, your bad budgets do.]...

tra lala. i've never been so happy for phone calls as yesterday. alex even called me for help...and we take history in different languages! i should get BACK to studying. cos it's chem and i'm lost. i don't want to spend the enxt 3 days doing chem. no i don't, no i don't. suck.

oh lordy...nw my brothers are into downloading mp3s! they each have their little playlists. james wanted star wars so he has all this john williams symphonic stuff. i was like "umm....james you won't like this. it's instrumental." but he assures me he does. he has that 'cantina' one which cracks me up. holy. and then james has weird things like the teletubbies themesong [which ROCKS let me tell you. it's like the extended remixed version.] i think i might steal cantina, and the teletubbies for MY playlist. he has weird star wars comedy sketches ['yoda farts' is a favorite of his...i would NOT let him download 'yoda fucks princess leia'....this has not prevented him from going around the house SAYING it, replacing 'fucks' with 'dirties'... destined for therapy, he is...] umm...andrew's sucks so royally. almost as bad as kathryn's. he must take after kathryn...yeah that must be it. cos i admire the diversity of jamie's list, so he must take after me. *pats self on back* ata ny rate, andrew has 2 treble charger songs [american psycho, brand new low. PUKE.] and a few adam sandler sketches. so, he puts the treble charger on furcking REPEAT, full blast. i was ready to throttle the kid. i insisted he a least get anoher song or 2 to even it out. big mistake. what did he get? original prankster. oi. i admit i had one treble charger song downloaded. red. it's from a few years ago and i used to like it. however, i think i just liked the video a lot alot alot. i played it for andrew and his annoying treble charger friend [who turned my brother into a treble charger monster] theother day and the both of them went "this is stupid. treble charger used to suck. " i could have walloped them both. however i settled on just snapping "you mean they don't still?" [yeah...go me. when dealing with 8 year olds, your comebacks don't have to be as sharp, and you can still win.] i took that as a direct comment on my beloved 1990's. i put some hawksley workman on andrew's lsit, sort of trying to nudge him the right direction.

maybe if i'm taking a study break this weekend i'll post their mp3 lists. which are really tiny compare to mine. maybe i'll also post some of the highlights of the crackhead shorthand that i used in my studynotes for history.

tuju1201&06:46 p.m. /
audio:

umm..are jj72 and my winamp in cohoots? i mean, yes, i love jj72, but i clicked 'shuffle' for a reason, damnit...

ok. why did i post? oh right. i've done away with my amazon list. for many reasons. it was long and greedy and i can't find my password. i deleted all my cookies last week when i went on a deleting spree [more room for mp3s!], and...thought i had the password on record somewhere. but anyway. so instead i just finished my skivsamling.nu majiggy. yeah. you can find the link where the amazon link used to be. now, that's not all my cds...soundtracks and compilations aren't on there, or mix cds either. and my wishlist is the abridged version only the one's i'm absolutely gagging for. i went to great, geeky pains to put a comment for each one, so please justify the time i wasted by perusing as many as you can. danke.

ok...apologies to my winamp...i just checked and it's NOT on shuffle. i'm sorry winnie.

umm...i have gay pride hair. you're jeolous, i can tell. during history amanda forced my head unto her desk and coloured my blonde streaks with hiliters. pink and blue. but the blue looks green. speaking of pink, i made the following observation whilst watching the mtv movie awards [do you know how painful that was for weezer fans all across north america?] pink is starting to look like gwen stefani. and even more startingly, mandy moore is starting to look like jennifer lopez. ok..so maybe they're not like CLONES or anything...all i know is that during a shot to pink i mentally identified her as gwen, and then seconds later revoked my earlier testimony. same with mandy moore. i went "oh that's jennifer lopez...wait a second, no it's not..."

speakin' of...i'm listening to hash pipe maintenant. it's an annoying live mp3. i like live mp3s...but not when the audience is annoying. these girls keep shouting "take off your PANTS!" [hehe...and somewhere in virginia, (more specifically: richmond) at this very moment a certain weezer fan i know is blushing bright red ... ] and after they finish someone in the audience goes "hey rivers!!!" and rivers actually goes "what?". heh...and then the guy's all "ummmm...what time are...you guys playing... saturday night?" and rivers goes something like "i dunno." haha silly fuck...his one opportunity to chat with the elusive mr. cuomo, and what does he ask? something of the 'boxers or briefs' calibre...way to go dude...

y'know, the first time i heard hash pipe i wasn't overly fond. in fact, i was puzzled. but then i started to understand after i saw the video. and if it's not asswipe, then what is it? i vote for 'ashtray'...don't laugh. it's plausible.

ok alex...your markers are crazy. are they blood? cos i got some on my hand and i keep catching a glimpse of it from the corner of my eyeball and going "OHMYLORD!...where did that WELT come from?" it looks like a really, really bad scrape/2nd degree burn, not unlike the umm BULLETHOLES in your thighs, my dear.

jism is ejaculate, shcism is divisons or groups. yep, don't get those confused kiddies.

sok likasinnade: leen.

moju1101&10:08 p.m. /
audio:

hmmm...most of everyone [grammer? grammer!] did significantly better than in class. yes. and i know i'm not really objective, but i don't think i did so great. i think i did it better in class, and if you recall, at the time i hated that as well. and then of course i do it 10 kazillion times better at home. le sigh. oh well. let's hope i get a good mark, because it was in place of an exam.

so. i know i have plenty of things i could be doing. preparing for exams, say...you know at this point alll my courses are done [save for revision] exept english. leave it to old PENNYloafers to uh...c'monc'mon, i swear to god there's an expression for this...give the dying goose one last honk? drive the last nail in the coffin? i dunno. at any rate, he wants us to come in on thurs, the DAY before exams when attendance isn't mandatory. it's a help day. we will be studying, or getting help, NO we're not coming in to calculate our marks for you, mr. lazyass, as teacher i believe that's your job. leaving it to the last gong. yes. that's what i've been searching for.

what was i saying before i went catchphrase hunting? ahh right. i may rejig ma paragraph, or see if i can hunt jake down [prolly in a sub 10 miles down the atlantic ocean] and inquire as to his attendances at school demain. he has zee paragraph from our essay. which we umm NEED. and i'm going to shower or bathe or something, bandage my feet [fucking doc's] and then watch QUEEEF! i know i could be doing so much more, but lordy, i am so happy to have this damn monologue over with.

i failed a math test and an art exam today. hurrah. see, everyone else is finding that there's not enough time to finish the math test, and colleen found enough time not only to finish the whole thing, but also to nap for 5-10 minutes and then steal cherakee and amanda's shoes from them as i waited for the bell to ring. i had 20 mintues left in class! clearly a sign something is wrong. i did not dow ell.

for the monologues, we could either wear some sort of costme or all black. i considered doing the t shirt with something tied around my waist thing...but that look is just unbecoming. so i SEARCHED my closet [which is like the frigging archvies. i have every piece of clothing since i moved. 5 years worth of clothing...in varying sizes cos i mean, this is puberty we're talking about. i find that stuff from grade 7/8 won't fit my boobs. shite.] and i found this brown corduroy button up shirt. and then i found a blue army printed t shirt. i put the jacket over the shirt, safety pinned it closed [the buttons worked and everything...don't know why i felt the need to pin it.] and then grabbed one of my Elvira studded bracelets and went with that. it was completely ridiculous. colleen trying to look 'hard' and umm...failing miserably. i have very regular pants too. so i wore it to school to get my friends opinion on it. i felt like a quad...cos i hope people realise it was a costume. sad thing is, i walked into the newspaper room to a chorus of "colleen you look nice today!", completely shocking. i had to say "umm, we i thought i looked like a retard..." and then i put my hair back and put on doc's and i started looking like a thrift store lesbian. a tasteless one at that. on the positive side: in my closet travels i FINALLY found my fuzzy elmo t shirt! yay!

the swearing wasn't really an issue this evening. 2 other monologues had a curse or two. however, cherakee's mom says that the woman in front of her was all "did she jsut say what i think she did?" old bag.

frjun801&04:49 p.m. /
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what was my point? oh yes. expect an absence. and i will expect nothing short of bungled suicide attempts from all of you...

oh right, and apologies for the last entry...holy shit. am i ever an illiterate twat sometimes....jesus! just look at it! it's riddled with type-os and poor grammer, and at one point i left out part of a sentence, so it makes very little sense.

kelly jones is umm, sexy.

will someone check winpx for that red monkey mp3 i'm looking for? please? and by somebody i mean amanda....right, thanks luv. it's '50 hour work week' by red monkey. it exists, goddamnit.

oh lordy...our monologue show. there are posters up around the school, right? and at the bottom there is a "warning: strong language content" thing. and a couple people from my drama class have said "yeah, and it's all in colleen's monologue..." heh heh. devious evilness at work, children...

making busterbar sundaes tonight for the work bbq tomorrow. tomorrow i will go up to alex's and do some work on our english essay [jake is off on a submarine somewhere. meanwhile, we just realised he has his paragraph from our essay. we must write that and do the visual...] and maybe i will corral little miss brain to help her poor idiotic INFERIOR friend w/ math for the test monday. but i prolly won't. and then we'll make her cool potatoes [i will preside over the proceedings as the offical irish liason...ok, wannabe-irish liason...] and then head next door to the party. altho, the party will probablly end up in alex's backyard...cos their really isn't a yard next door. oh right. did i mention? alex and i are going to a homewarming aprty for our boss sherri, who has conveniently moved into the house next door to alex's. 3 cheers, y'all...

umm. i just killed a big bad ugly spider with a bottle of pills. is that enough to get me inducted into the Badass Hall of Fame?

anne has a hickey,
/leen

weju601&03:26 p.m. /
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blargdiddlyarg! sarah saw bandits! hooray! and she thought it rocked! hooray again! she cried too! yay! ok people, now you can't not see it now. i'e made sarah see it, and eeryone at my surprise birthday party were forced tow atch it too and found that it rocked! and sarah...do we ever need the soundtrack....

tuju501&07:24 p.m. /
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moju401&07:39 p.m. /
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erm...i'll finish changing the little vehicles to orange tomorrow. i have a BUNCH of homework to do.

moju401&03:27 p.m. /
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heh. that would be the snogged.pitas.com poem courtesy of rob's amazing poem generator [link c/o laura] for fun i tried manda's....:
"journal what it becomes an iced cappucino to violently errupt. oh wait.
i know why. and because
i danced.
i sure most schools do it. " oh the hilarity...

i'm gonna redesign the book. and ummm...maybe see if i can do something about this disaster area. amanda commented in school. sniff.

my hair is knot free and glorious. it was a disaster area up until this weekend. really for the past month i haven't combed it at all and it was self-dreadlocking. so on the way to the concert friday night, everyone came armed with brushes combs and picks ad worked on my hair. anne got almost the entire left side done. erin, who was extremely gentle, didn't make much headway on the right side. this could be because she was too afraid of hurting me. alex took a stab [LITERALLY!] at it when we got to the concert, but i soon made her stop. my scalp was exhausted. so last night in the shower, i doused it in conditioner and then took half an hour to finish last night while it was still wet. i managed to get it all done save for 2 knots on the right side of my head. i put my newly glorious hair in two long braidpigtails and went to bed. umm...my hair was really crimpy today. somehow, it still is! anyway, alex got the last two knots out during chemistry. my smart ass [or really, just thinks he's a smartass..] teacher was all "you look like a bunch of gorillas back there picking away at each other" and then, even more bizarrely he said "hey! don't knock the eighties"a after i exclaimed that alex was teasing my hair into an 80's nightmare, not detangling it. vhatever, villiamson.

hehe. got our yearbooks on friday [and i have finally achieved my goal of having absolutely NO pictures in there besides my school picture...which is horrible enough thank you. why didn't anyone sit me down and tell me to stop tweezing?!?!? c'mon now...i'm not a beauty queen by ANY stretch of the imagination...i need all th help i can get! so please, my kind friends, take my hand and escort me in the other direction when you come upon me wandering down Ugly Lane.] and i have read mine about, ohh..12 billion times already. it's up here by the computer and i will just randomly pick it up and thumb through it. and right now i am looking for spelling errors by some of the stupider teachers. alrighty sangster...that is SO not how you spell 'veterans'...he has referred to 'vetrans' TWICE in his blurb about the junior 'a' boys basketball team....meathead.

so today was 'be renton in drama class' day. 'twas a bit fun, a bit anti-climatic. i thought i was going to get into trouble for some of the things i said, but amanda assures me she heard ms. caldwell laughing.

so...i have been listening to belle and sebastian non-stop. that is, when i actually turn off the computer, shut down my playlist and vacate the computer area. see, my mp3s seem all the more precious to me now since the mp3 holocaust of last week. geez. my poor endangered mp3s. y'know, on one hand i'm happy that kathryn hasn't been listening to her mp3s in awhile, cos then a)i get to listen to my own and b) i don't have to listen to hers and develop that dave mathews rash. however, i am irked nonetheless that she has the fucking nerve to download 60 mp3s, necessitating the deletion of over half of MINE, and then lsitens to her playlist 2-3 times and that's it for a week.

so yeah. i've been listening to belle and sebastian like a fiend. it's the only cd i feel like listening to. pout. i'm so sad that rufus wainwright's new cd is out tomorrow and i'm too fucking POOR to buy it. oh, things are badbadbad financially. $25 to my name. a debt of $70 to my mother. i'm paid $56.25 on friday. however, like always, HALF of that has to go into my europe trip account. i've been waiting 2 years for this cd! e first said that it would come out autumn '99. then june '00. then march '01. then april '01. then june '01, and here it is. radiohead tomorrow. tra lala! oh yeah, amanda...because i'm too lazy to turn icq on or email you: please bring TBYML and weezer to me tomorrow. i'll return robbie and the bends and the hip. i need some cds kid. so alas, i must reclaim my cds. alex, on the other hand may keep parklife for as long as she wants. wait. did alex return that one? don't ...think...so? lemme check....ok. alex still ahs that one. and remember amanda, you cannot move on to 13 or the self-titled until you have heard the great escape. it's policy. i don't care how much you hate poppy music, you're hearing the evolution of blur whether you like it or not. suck on that, lemon face.

oh ha. reminded me. while talking about monopoly in the newpaper room colleen made a very telling, very anglocentric error in calling parkplace 'parklife.' he. stupidhead.

hurrah! laura has returned from afar!

suju301&04:22 p.m. /
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so today i quickly checked my email to see if there was anything besides about 10 million rufus emails, which i unfortunately have no time to read, and there was one from a 'christine' with the subject being a big, bold, all capitals 'SNOGGED.PITAS.COM'...i'm going 'what?' and so it's someone who's trying to get me to pay to be put in searchengines. but the weirdest thing is at the bottom of the email there is a tiny screenshot of snogged. it's wee replica of this gross new layout, that is indeed LINKED to snogged.pitas.com [gee, why don't i click? not like i've even been there before...]. it was the weirdest thing to have it staring back at me. shit, it even follows me around...

"Take Jean Lapierre, who resigned from the Bloc Quebecois in 1992, having worked long and hard to break up canada. the canadian government rewarded him for his efforts with a $40,000 a year pension until he dies. if he lives out his existance according to the average human life span, he will receive from the canadian taxpayer, in salery, perks and pension, the equivalent of $4,000,000. talk about chutzpah. i don't know how mr. lapierre gets his pants on in the morning, he must have balls the size of ham-hocks."-will ferguson, author if why i hate canadians

suju301&12:55 a.m. /
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no. NO. it's jsut too bad. so awful. i mean...FUCK! did my winamp playlist throw up in here or what? it's retarded and ridiculous. the only thing more ridiculous than the actual graphic and layout itself, is the absurd amount of time i spent on it. from 4-8 pm today, minus pee breaks and a short dinner. i icq-ed amanda for help at one point. she told me point blank it was ridculous and retarded to attempt what i was attempting. and i spent an hour or so on it friday too.sadly, i have used up way way WAY too much time on this. i don't have this much time to be fucking around. i have homework man. and exams to prepare for, if not homework. i'm so fucking tired all the time. it's impossible to be permanently exhausted when you don't do a goddamn thing.

i saw the flashing lights. ok, and the barenaked ladies too, but the flashing lights were actually the highpoint of the evening. and the evening was great and there was a lot more to it and so on and so forth however, i'm tired. but we've been over that. hmm....new paragraph? i think so...

ahhh. bien, merci. so i snapped out of my html trance at about 8 pm and turned off this god forsaken machine vowing not to turn it on for the rest of the evening. i have plenty to do i told myself. i decided to take a walk. i put on my sweater and went to get my label maker but i couldn't find it. i spent 10-20 minutes looking for it, and the sun is going down and i can't really take much of a walk now. it's NOT in my room! i can see it man! you know the feeling? you can picture it being there recently, but it's not, and you think you're blind and/or delusional so you check the place over and over and over. and then you get paranoid and acusatory. i went flying downstairs to my sister's bedroom ready to acuse her of taking luke out joyriding [or joylabeling as it is in this case] when she "borrowed" 3 of my cds this week [w/o asking, while i was at school, and then LEFT on the dashboard of the car in the blistering fucking sun. i don't THINK so kathryn, Bitch of All Bitches] because luke skywalker was on the floor in my general post-daily notes mess, by my cds. luckily she was not there so i asked her boyfriend instead. supposedly no clue. so i give up on the idea of a walk, cos it's darkening and i can't go without my labelmaker and i decide to have mom watch our drama video instead. by the time the video is over [a whopping 11 minutes later] mom's friend toni has showed up and mom is being SO annoying and basically prodding me into yelling at her, which she ALWAYS does whenever her friends are over. jesus fuck. she always talks about how bad my brothers [and to a lesser degree kathryn and i. but really...we're ummm, past that mother. she's 20, i'm 17. who the fuck are we showing off for at this point?] are about showing off and stuff, but she does it too! she's always teasing me when her friends are over so that i will do the 'teenage' thing and go "mo-ooo-ooom, blahblahblah hiss scratchmeow! *stompstompstompPOUT*" which i usually resist, basically because i know she wants me to. tonight i didn't and i heard her and her friend's "a hahahaha stupid teenager" laugh as i stomped off. so, i'm minus the computer, the downstairs tv [even tho i have my own. shush. i just felt like watcing tv downstairs tonigt. joining civilisation...] my hairbrush [which i left downstairs and was NOT going back for. i had planned on finishing my hair this evening.]...i still ahd my homework, a disaster area of a room and plenty of other things to do. instead i found the 2 books i started in april and started reading. i decided i'm not finishing the virgin suicides beacuse a) it's exactly like the movie, down to the dialogue. and i have the movie and b) reading the book makes me feel dirty, weird and shitty. the movie, however, does not. so i wish i hadn't asked for that for my birthday. it was the only book i got and i want so many! i wasted my one book! arg. so anyway, i continued reading 'why i hate canadians' which continues to be splendid. i should have done my frickin' monoluge from there! oh holy...it's so amazing, this book. everyone read it. sarah? other canadians? read it. i think my history teacher [and to a lesser degree, my english teacher...] should read it if he hasn't already. so many hockey analogies, so little time. but i think he has. i mean, is it just a coincidence that half of his analogies are contained in this one chapter?

and here i am. been on the net for another 1.5 hours. oh shit. having realised that, i am like, drowning in guilt over here. my stomach just fell ten stories! i thought it was only 1 am! you know i have legitamate business on this computer, too. i need to research renton a bit more. but i suppose its a bit too late. i want a copy of the script, if not the book. i could watch the movie again but i don'tdon'tdon'tdon't want to do that. yeah ok, so renton was portrayed by ewan macgregor...some people think this automatically means i should portray renton JUST like ewan macgregor did, because...he did it...what? first? big effing deal. that's mimicry, not acting. that would be "hey! watch me do ewan doing renton" [oh ha. that is the funniest not-dirty-but-could-be thing i've heard in awhile]i'd like to see how the author portrays renton since umm....he created him? and i mean, even then i'm not about to do exactly what the book says. you take what the book says, process it through yourself [like a sieve? yeah, sort of] and come out with a performance that invariably combines the elements of the character that YOU most identify with, or understand and umm...you. jake says something about meditating to find a character. i say it's not that hard or wimpy. we play ourselves almsot each and every time. we get up there and do what we would do, only a bit differently, in differnt situations. we react the way we would...if we were a n'eerdowell cynical scottish junkie. oh wait. here i go talking again like i know...i don't really. i jsut do what works for me, ok? and come monday i will be a n'eerdowell cynical scottish junkie...not that i've ever been a junkie...i have solid experinces in cynicism and to a lesser degree, being scottish and a n'eerdowell [i can be a sometimes-not-so-good...? how's that?] it will be mostly me. because you can't escape yourself. unless you're schizophrenic. big up to the schizophrenics in da house. i'd like to see your cd collection....

and before i go, i'd like to dedicate catatonia's 'dazed, beautiful and bruised' to all the glitter girls. ALL of em. yes. suck on that you annoying little freaks.

"The three great themes of Canadian history are as follows:
1. keeping the americans out
2. keeping the french in, and
3. trying to get the natives to somehow disappear."-will ferguson, author of why i hate canadians

"our feelings towards america are complex, but they can be summed up in the following 5 axiomatic propositions of canadian nationalism vis-a-vis the americans:
1. boy, we hate americans.
2. we really do.
3. really.
4. i'm not kidding. we really hate them.
5. so how come they never pay us any attention"
it is a classic love/hate obsession, and it defines us in ways we can never transcend. we measure ourselves against americans. we crave their attention and their approval, we revel in their ignorence of us, and we take masochistic glee in slights, perceived or real. it is a form of neurosis, one step away from a compulsive high school crush. we pout, flirt, throw pencils, pass notes and talk maliciously bout the object of our fears and desires. and they ignore us."-same as above.

saju201&07:43 p.m. /
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