sufe401 01:39 p.m.
grr. i am in a bad mood.

first of all, i am sick. my throat hurts like a bitch [i don't recall gargling with kerosene, but gee it feels like i must've.] my phlegm is a beautiful greenish/yellow shade [for those of you who care]...i know cos this morning i woke up @ 10:00 am [after going to bed @ close to 2 am...oi] cos i was GAGGING on my OWN PHLEGM! hush...it was a scary experience. i was choking goddamnit! on my own mucous-y secretions! so anyway, i had to work yesterday for 3 hours while sick, and it wasn't fun. by the end of my shift i ahd a slight fever and felt faint. i went home and lay down for a bit and then chatted on icq [which i recently downloaded.]. i was SUPPOSED to babysit last night for our neighbours kid. to make a long story short this kid's father was going to be "out all night" and although he had arranged for me to babysit Justin [the kid] friday night saturday he asks if justin can spend the night at our house. he and my brother andrew are friends. this guy has a new girlfriend see...he was going to be "out all night". and he didn't want to pay me for like, a billion hours of babysitting basically. i babysit over night, i mean GOD especially if it's on our street or right next door. so i spent a quiet evening w/ my mother and ap work and my new sickness.

i babysat friday night too, right? grr...and THEN last night i get aNOTHER call to babysit tonight. and it's the kids i absolutely detest. i have to go @ 5:30. i expect they'll be late. they're ALWAYS late. and they pay so shittily too. not worth my time or frustrations for the little they pay me.

pay your babysitters, folks. it's a thankless job. we don't do it cos it brings a delightful flush to our cheeks. and no, your kids aren't angels.

if i had ended up babysitting last night, that would mean i would have babysat 3 days in a row. thank god i didn't. i like the idea of cash tho. hours are scarce at work. and a whole glut of birthdays approach.

speaking of moola, i got a raise @ work! well, it's a whole whopping $0.55 an hour more and doesn't take effect til april, but it's a start. now i get $6.25/hour.

so this kid justin came over last night, and of course my brothers and him didn't go to bed until midnight...and for some reason they all woke up this morning @ 6:45 AM. what the ma fuck? young people. i don't get how they can wake up so early! i thought 10:00 AM was early for me today. errr...and if asking if his kid could come over [which was a plot to avoid paying me, i KNOW IT] wasn't rude enough, he picked his kid up this morning @ 7:30 AM so they could go skiing! so mom had to get out of bed [another non-early riser...] and get this kid ready to go home. my brothers are so fucking grumpy there is just no dealing with them.

they claimed they were bored [and so did i. i haven't seen 10:00 AM on a sunday in a loooonnng time...] so i played pokemon sorry with james. who then started to sulk once it was clear i was going to win. so i stopped playing with him. mom suggested we all go in yo halifax to see a movie. i checked the movie listings on the net and ther were no movies for my little brothers to see. so then, mom suggests they go over to the indoor pool @ local motel for a swim. they like that idea. mom calls up the wandalyn oly to discover you need a membership. i suggest bowling. in fact, i decide it would be lots of fun to go bowling this afternoon. and my brothers who, just 2 minutes before agreed that if we can't go swimming then we'll go bowling start to sulk and say "no. we changed our minds. we don't wasnt to go bowling." so i yell and i threaten and eventually andrew [who was really the only holdout. james, who is like, a bowling MANIAC, quickly changes his mind back and decides he wants to go bowling.] agreed to go bowling, but only after i made the fucking sissy cry. [i threatened to call this kid who lives up the road whom andrew HATES and invite him over to play. haha, incidentally, i'm babysitting this same kid and his sister tonight.fuck. even my MOM doesn't like the kid.] mom was like "ok colleen...you made him cry. he obviously doesn't want to go. i don't know why, cos he'd have lots of fun if he went. i guess no ones going anywhere. andrew don't say a thing about being bored, cos you're ruined it for everyone." so i was so pissed. i did some more ap work. and then james decided that hey! he REALLY REALLY wanted to go bowling! he tried to convince andrew, who had resorted to his usual spot in front of the tv [andrew is a lazy couch potato.]. it didn't work. i went in there with a plan. i took the library books we had gotten on one of the snow days this week and sat down with him and read them to him. he brightened considerably and resorted back to his good mood self. so i tried it then "ok drew...let's go get dressed, have some lunch, and then go bowling..." no. he still refuses to go, on the grounds "he won't have any fun." so i gave up. i started making cookies. some of his favorites. and informed him that he was not allowed to have any, because i don't owe him a fucking thing. juvenile, yes, but really...i do a lot for my brothers...i TRY to be a great older sister. and for fucks sake....it wouldn't kill them to give me a little back.

and here i am. still sick, still bored, and i have to go babysit some holy terrors in 3 hours. grr.

frfe201 03:41 p.m.
today felt like monday. cos the past 2 days have been schoolless. snowdays. i'm not arguing. the weather really wasn't that bad. on tuesday evening it freezing rained, so when i woke up wednesday and tried to walk to school [and please note that i live on the same freakin' street as the school...] it was quite the task. a task that was completely for not, as i reached school [finally] and after hammering on the door for awhile, realised school had been cancelled. i am such a dumb fuck. i knocked on the locked door and waited around for someone to 'come along' and open the door for me [cos the day before, the back door, which is the door i use and am currently referring to was locked and i had to wait for someone to pass by and let me in] after a, sadly, long time i look around and realise that there are no kids on the elementary playground and no one has passed by the door in like, awhile. in fact like, never. i realise "hey! it's pretty dark in there." i realize i am an idiot of the finest calibre. i realise i don't know how to spell 'realise' so i alternate the possible spellings in the hopes of being right at least 50% of the time.

yeah. anyway. i did dailynotes for 4 hours on wednesday...and sadly, due to my fussiness and extreme amounts of magazine visuals to wade thru, i only completed 1 visual in that entire 4 hours. and i'm not even really done it cos, now i need a title and an explanation for it. i showed my last few daily notes to mr. penny today. he seemed...well, not impressed, but not disappointed either. i got 2 out of 2. many many many people received higher marks on their daily notes than i did when they were passed in last term, people who did not invest a fraction of the time and effort and thought that i did into my daily notes. so i'm very bitter about that. anyway, he read a few entries [it took all recess as i stayed after to have him check my 3 reflective visuals], and then had to comment on the entry i wrote on his continued inability to pronounce my last name. and it was like the fifth conversation we had about it. and then he skimmed a couple more entries and made the comment "i'd like to read these in more detail later...cos you're definitely a writer..." and i just wanted to laugh, cos when he reads my entries in 'more detail' he'll find that this semester colleen is bitter over her last dailynotes mark and has decided she has nothing to lose, so she has gone no holds barred and written entries on whatever insane, obscene, perverse or obscure thing she feels like. there are entire entries written on 1) my best friend alex's nice ass 2)MY ass...i believe i called it "a freakin' shelf" 3)people who share my birthday, particularly a girl i referred to as "that bitch annie whom i went to school with in toronto" 4)the colour of the walls of my bedroom and why i write on them etc etc ad nauseam. basically whatever the hell i feel like. whatever comes into my head. i curse if i fell like it. cos i don't know if i'm getting rewarded for all the work i put into my dailynotes. so, toss it. if i'm going down, i'm gonna have fun on the way there.

holy shit...people just keep lending me cds. here is how it stands at the moment. and my thoughts one each cd:
-the man who by travis. ...besides writing to reach you, as you are and blue flashing light this is crap. [borrowed from missie.]
-urban hymns by the verve. ...just got this today. only lsitened to 3 songs. so far so good...mind you those 3 songs were like, the singles so maybe not a proper indiciation...[borrowed from missie.]
-parachutes by coldplay. ...i like this album. i'm unclear whether i would buy it for myself over some of the other albums i want, cos this is hard to listen to due to it's extremely melancholic monotone.[borrowed from simon.]
-this is my truth tell me yours by the manic street preachers. ...so far i don't like this album. must listen to it again to confirm this.[borrowed from cherakee]
-from the choirgirl hotel by tori amos. ...i dig spark, raspberry swirl, jackie's strength, aaiii, she's your cocaine, and playboy mommy. still need to listen to it some more. cos i'm not sure if 6 songs are enough to make me want to buy the album. [borrowed from amanda.]
-rid of me by pj harvey. ...haven't listened to yet beyond first 2 songs and mansize and singles and stuff. [borrowed from amanda]

i think that's it. sheesh. and then i have my new nick drake cd. i have 3 cds lent out, too: beautiful midnight by the matthew good band [alex], when the pawn...by fiona apple [cherakee] and play by moby [amanda]. tradesies! you know i'm good for it!

woo...this post is going nowhere. i babysit tonight [money!...what am i talking about? i still have a very healthy bank account from when i slavishly worked over xmas. that i must make last since i worked a total of 9 stinkin' hours over the entirety of january. that's barely $50 after taxes. skankers.] and i work 3 hours tomorrow. oooh...i might get a new cd tomorrow while i'm at work. i've heard that the cd store has some awesomely priced Weezer. must check out. and they moved the used cd section of the store, and i thought they got rid of it. so i must go check out what they have in there. i heard it's bigger than it used to be. i heard whispers of pj harvey!

oh...supergrass. their page was updated. so funny. they read their email! and there is a contest going on at the moment..."If you were in Supergrass, what would you call your fourth long playing record that was a bit cheeky but not too cheeky, and why?" oh good lord...i have until february 28th to think up something. gah! i can do it!

flu-ish, tired and sincere:
colleen m. hennan.

suja2801 06:55 p.m.
yes i'm alive. after feverishly posting on this thing for 2 straight weeks i don't feel like posting much at all anymore. well, for starters....my intrrnet wasn't working for a day or so. and my reaction was pathetic. i practically had myself tied up to a methdone machine. i ate a lot to substitute for the internet. i'm pathetic, i know. and what's really sad is that i actually left the house and took a big hour long freezing walk in the graveyard and played with my brother for another 1.5 hour on n64. i talked to manda on the phone. i had no internet...so i was forced to actually have a life. and do you know what? i still didn't get any homework done that evening.

i'm swimming in music at the moment. it's too chaotic. too much new audio. i received a new mixtape from sarah this week. it's rockin'. then, i've borrowed 'the man who' by travis from missie, 'parachutes' by coldplay from simon, and 'from the choirgirl hotel' by tori amos from amanda. i BOUGHT 'way to blue: an introduction to nick drake' by [big duh here...]nick drake yesterday. i am so obsessed and upset over him. why is he so dead? he's amazing and he breaks my heart.

since i haven't posted in awhile, there is tons and tons i could go on about. but i won't. i worked yesterday for the first time in over 2 weeks and screwed up madly. i went out on friday and participated in the timeless teenage ritual of driving around aimlessly with nothing but cool people & cool tunes on the stereo for the first time. it's a lot of fun. we rocked out to the best of blur, coldplay, mr. roboto and born slippy care of jamie's xmas mix cd.

good lord. stop that. grrr....i'm trying to sign my girl claira's gbook because she has a rockin' new layout up. but it won't let me. it shows up as 'kim'. what the ma fuck?

things are quiet and weird at the domain at the moment. hmmm. i didn't do any of it.

/colleen