Sunday, September 2, 2001&09:03 p.m. / we could use that as an excuse
audio: uniform grey - sarah harmer
mr. chris ware, would you please marry me? i'd marry your comicbook character jimmy corrigan, only he isn't real. it's just that your comics are exquisite and heartbreaking and you are a genius and i don't know where to get my hands on your work, so perhaps i'll try instead to get my hands on you instead. there are so many powerlines in your comics and everything is so stylized and detailed and so 'nameless industrial city, 1909'...your font is loopy and victorian and i love you.
suse201&08:18 p.m. / i wish we could go to hell
audio: everytime - sarah harmer
ok. so i'm back. i babysat for barely an hour. lemme break it down for y'all: i get a call as i'm finishing my supper, it's pam snow from across the road. she's got company visiting and they want to go out to dinner. what are my plans for the evening. well...i'm not sure at the moment pam. well, i needed someone to look after the kids until darrell [the husband] comes home from work. i think, oh, i have time to do that, he shouldn't be home later than 7:30. i say sure...as long as i can read this book i need to read for school while i'm over there, what time shall i be over? about 7...and we should be about a few hours.
woah, what? excuse me? repeat that? HOURS? i thought we were dealing in minutes. but i've already said yes. i was maybe going to finish that game of monopoly with my friends. amanda was home and everything. so i go baysit...both of my brothers and james' friend corey ended up with me too. i had 6 children in total, but they were all playing nicely...except for jenna. but then her brothers let her play with them and it was just the dog, joseph conrad and i. like i predicted, mr. snow was not long and got back at 8. however, since mrs. snow didn't actually tell me where they were going to eat he couldn't join them--believe me, he planned on it. he called a few places and they didn't take their cellphone. so look at that i'm home again. i'm $3 richer. whoopty.
of course i get home and rush to the phone only to discover that amanda has JUST departed for cherakee's. i call cherakee and they're going to watch a movie.
at any rate, i have the wish book in my lap and an xmas lsit to start and a mistape to finish and a crappy book to read. i am not lacking for things to do this evening.
suse201&06:44 p.m. /
audio:
whoops. by some comedy of errors, i am babysitting tonight. i am SOOOO sorry amanda...i guess no monopoly. your phone is busy. i am literally babysitting in like, 5 minutes and i'm still eating and need to get dressed. i accepted cos i thought she meant like 20 minutes and it turns out she needs me for a COUPLE HOURS. sneaky. again i am SOOOOOOOO sorry. maybe something tomorrow evening? monopoly or other excitement with everyone?
suse201&04:28 p.m. / betty said she prayed today
audio: piano fire - sparklehorse feat. polly
i haven't listened to mp3's for like 3 weeks. hello there winamp. so i realised this morning as i woke up to the strains of crappy music issuing from MY computer that kathryn leaves tuesday/wednesday and finally my computer will be freed from it's Shackles of Crappyness.
so i worked unexpectedly yesterday as mah boss was QUITE under the weather and knowing that she faced a 50 hour work week next week [SIDE NOTE: did i imagine that song? i've searched napster, audiogalaxy and winmx for that mp3, or any red monkey mp3's and it's...non existant!] she took hier off and alex and i split the shift. yes, next week: colleen has 24 hours next week. shit on a stick. this is inconvenient. i START SCHOOL NEXT WEEK! i worked on average 10-15 hours this summer, which was decent but what i really wanted was 20 hours. one week i got 21, but that was a freak week. so suddenly...i have a WINDFALL of hours and...summer's over and i need to scale DOWN my hours. it's the stupid friends and family weekend. i hate those things. mostly because i started working during last spetember's f&f weekend...and again, i worked 20+ hours during my first week...things were crazy and my training was more or less poorly executed and forgotten. so from then on it was trial and error, even through xmas. yeah, anyway...bad memories of my first week of work: EVERYONE was stressed and got mad at me for being new and a screw up. jayne was a dragon bitch, cos she was having 'personal problems' [however i have learned since then that at any given time, someone or five northern employees will be in a state of turmoil and...retardedness.] which meant that she had license to be mean to the trembling new employee and all the customers too! nice. it's been a year folks. ahhh....my first year in retail; and boy was it a sparkling one...
so yeah there's this huge crisis. it's a long story and i don't feel like telling it, but i'll phone alex about it later. lisa from work was driving me home yesterday and after we locked up and left, this woman apporached us from venator group [our company] and did a bag search...and long story short, lisa is now being suspected of stealing even though it was a big mixup on her/my part. she asked me to ring something in for her [you're not allowed to process your own purchase] before she closed the cash but then we had these women who would NOT hurry and up and leave the store @ closing...and we both forgot. the thing was in her bag, cos she put it there intending to have me ring it in for her...and then we both forgot in all the kerfluffle w/ the late staying customers. sigh. our sick boss had to be called and...it's just more trouble in an already troublesome week. poor lisa. she's so upset.
amanda just said 'kewl' to me via icq. well THERE'S a conversation killer. what am i supposed to do with 'kewl'?
i went shopping on friday avec alex. i got ANOTHER pair of rockin' sunglasses [$3.99], a wrap tunic from the gap [$20 OFF], 2 bras and 2 pairs of wunderwear [as my oh so cool mother calls it] from la senza [on sale too], a bunch of wonderfully tacky HUMUNGUS rings from ardene and 2 military green sweat bands as well [again, ON SALE. go thrifty colleen]. so i did well. and i'm going to halifax on tuesday wit ma dadeeeeee. we'll prolly be downtown. if all goes well, i'll FINALLY get a t shirt with my name on it. but my big bad sister might be coming along...so...we may end up at the gross mall. i vote for downtown halifax with it's used cd stores and delightfully pagan jewelery stores...not that i need ANYMORE jewelry or accessories.
hmmmm. school starts thursday. i have to go wednesday fo orientation...ie: pay for a locker, get me schedule and compare it with me mates and that stupud 'organizer' that they give us every year...that lists the rules and stuff. i got one in gr. 7, and haven't needed another since then. they charge us $20 for a locker...and it's really not for a locker. they're so poor, they make us pay fees for things that don't exist...the fee also covers this 'organzier' that technically only the gr. 7's need. they're not really allowed to charge us fees too, either. we pay taxes, but nothing is put into the education system in ns...it's only all taken out. yay our third world education system.
i suppose i should go. i think i'm gonna have to hunt and kill my OWN dinner tonight. it's 20 after 6!
thau3001&10:21 p.m. /
audio:
oh hey is this the right pita? too many pitas! arg
so sarah is dying ehr hair red tonight. colleen jsut had hers re-dyed red [and orange] today too! whaddya know? colleen also got new glasses pretty much exactly like my old ones i am sorry to report. but these ones' are milky violet on the inside and black on the outside. and i got MORE new clothes today. this would be a good time to have a digital camera. alas...
i have an unworkable barbie digital camera sitting next to me. it is useless. and not mine thanks for asking....
tomorrow i get my precious wish and am going to the city. however, i have pretty much all the clothes i need [and er...only so much money...mom's giving me $100 and i'll have $80-90...not all of which i can spend as i'm going to the city again on tuesday w/ daddy.] alex is picking me up @ 8:30. silly alex. she likes to torture. considering i watching roswell on space @ 4 in the morning [the show is so much better when you're half unconcious. majandra delfino is hot. prow.] for the past 2 days and have worked 10 hours at work on 10 hours of sleep in the past 2 days, gone shopping and got my hair done and blah blah. i'm tired friends. but i feel like i cna't tape it. if i watch it during daylight i'll probably realise how dumb the show is. har.
oh shit! loftahs!
thau3001&04:25 p.m. / don't light a match
audio: let your shouldder fall - matthew jay
er...would you believe i just meant to log into pheromones?
weau2901&12:13 a.m. /
audio: n/a
gaz, fer chrissakes put DOWN THE BONG FOR ONCE IN YOUR GODDAMN POT ADDLED L I F E!
he stated in nme that they were hoping to play new material for their Carling gig, right? he said that they only managed 3/4 of a new song when the played the south park oxford gig...a song called THEY FOUND HER BODY.
but that's not the funny astonishing part. the funny astonishing part is that he goes on to say this about the new album:
"It's up definitely, not all moody and depressing."
yeah gaz, uh huh. rightio. pass the bong honey...
[then get on your knees and service me...]
tuau2801&01:12 a.m. / black heart, black
audio: n/a
the sum 41 video is an excellent people watching video. i find a new freak everytime. my crowning catch has to be the girl flashing her panties repeatedly. and altho i'm not a fan of the band or song...by any stretch of the imagination, i have to stop and watch the video, everytime. mmmm...can you smell the ocd a'cookin'!?!?!
and i like, talk to myself everytime too. at certain parts i say things aloud, or in my head. ex: when the blonde frat girl w/ the ball cap is dancing stupidly i snort "psh! who let kate mann in the video?" and then she sits sown with a plop and i do my kate mann stretching like gumby and mumbling exclamations and orgasms to mr. surette impression. heh. and when those 2 like, 12 year old break dancing-in-slomo twins wearing all black come on, and that one gives a look to the camera i think/say "hmmm...she looks like a tiger. her name is catra..." yep, lame. i stand accused. i plead no contest.
ok, and THEN when they're doing the 80's pain for pleasure bit i crack up, because 2 of them look like joel plaskett. the one that's singing, with the "satan's sluts' jacket has loel's face, and then the blonde mulleted bassist [the one with the TONGUE problem...lordy glorioski...] has joel's HAIR. har. put 'em together and you have sexy mcplaskett in a basket!
and then of course, my favorite observation: the short smushed face leadish singer looks like JANIS FUCKING JOPLIN in the pain for pleasure part, with his little round glasses and crazy brown hair. slays me every time!
tomorrow my day is crazy and unorganized. but i'm expected to show. it would be good if i knew alex's cell phone number...
moau2701&05:19 p.m. /
audio: n/a
you can't get stickers like you could in the 80's. what a tragedy.
suau 26, 2001&03:34 p.m. / the cheers of helsinki winners
audio: october swimmer - jj72
holy god. i haven't had a panic attack in so bloody long. but i jsut had one like half an hour ago. there were SO many sirens going. it sounded like it was on king street and all the windows were open. it was fire...and maybe ambulance too. and they jsut went on and on and on. and usually sirens come and go as they pass by, but they stuck around, so maybe they weren't moving. and then they mingled together until it really did just sound like a woman screaming. it went on for about 20 minutes or so...and at first i was mildly annoyed but then i grew to be quite uncomfortable and before i knew it it was full on terror just sitting on my chest. and then they stopped, and they started again on my street. but i couldn't look out the window. i heard the big trucks, becuase they sound they make when they drive is...different, like you can hear their girth you know...you can tell it's not a fucking minivan out there. but then it stopped. i think. i put on head phones and am blasting my loudest music, so if it's still going on out there i don't know about it and i'm fine and dandy and safe in here.
but anyway. it's not like i have a problem with sirens. i don't. but there were jsut so many of them, so many different kinds and for some reason -- i'm not sure why this matters, i've never taken much of an interest in the woman -- but aaliyah's plane crashed and she died and i wasn't bothered about it, but then the sirens started and everyone always dies during the summer, and always at this point in the summer, and it's always my fault and it's not really in this case but it might be a bit, and no one should get on a plane in the summer because they never seem to crash during anytime else in the year, and especially never get on a plane with a celebrity because it WILL go down, and suddenly you will be one of the 'AND EIGHT OTHERS KILLED'. just one of the mere mortals who died.
but THEN i saw a sad clown picture of scarah, and i've recovered. mostly i laughed my bag off at the picture and felt alright. laughing is fun. i try to do it often.
ha. i meant to post about something else. but maybe i'll do it later. after i have a lie down or something. read something. maybe i'll go scrub my walls. colleen needs another quiet activity. i'll be back later.
saau2501&05:51 p.m. /
audio: the ringing in my ears from jj72
oh jah: dis is fun.
saau2501&04:50 p.m. / the grey coats of the infantry
audio: broken down - jayjayseventytwo
i just came home from a child porn show. i feel so goddamn dirty! we were actually playing 'Spot The Paedophile' [TM]. actually it was the mall 'lip sync' competition. cherakee's sister mahdyna was in it [and she won the whole thing. she is the lucky recipient of $500 "mall dollars"] and i was awash in stick legs, hiplessness and braless "nubs" as we were calling them. blech. it was so gross! and the gyrating! and the shimmying! it was all so very wrong and jonbenet-esque. and i could tell cherakee wanted to be up there. becuase i mean...we tease cherakee about HER sticklegs, lack of hips and arse...and well she's a bit beyond the 'nubbin' stage, but at 17 we call her ChildPorn Legs behind her back. so...her sister mahdyna or 'The Ethiopian' as she's sometimes known...as well as 'BeanPole' and a whole host or other gangly insults [mahdyna returns fire with such ironic remarks like "you fat freak"...which is amazing because not a single member of cherakee's family looks like they could crack 100 on the scale. despite their healthy appetites. ahh, the wonders of genetics...] did a 'sassy' rendition of come on over by christina aguilera [heh. or CHRISTINE aguilera as the clueless knob of a small town dj we had called her]. and would you beleive that out of the 12 or 13 acts four of them did bootylicious? by the fourth one it was just
laughable. and each group had one really strong member, one so so, and one really weak one...so we were saying we could make, like, a destiny's child supergroup if we could take the strong ones. and anyway, i could tell that cher had to restrain herself from jumping on stage because a couple times i'd turn to her and she'd be mouthing the words and stuff. oh holy jesus. she can pretend she's gone all pearl jam and stuff on us, but we can't forget the oath of marriage she practically swore to robbie williams and all her intimate knowledge of the spice girls and their menstrual cycles. sorry cher, you can pretend to go respectable...but your friends have the memories of elephants and we remember every_embarrassing_phase. it was such a debacle.
and in the midst of all the evidence of the rape of our children by pop culture...this one boy goes on stage...and lipsynchs to Donkey Ridin' by Great Big Sea. oh lord. he had us all clap along as he did not a suggestive dance like the rest of the girls, but interpretive handmovements to the song. sweet jesus it was funny.
this one kid who we nicknamed franklin [as in franklin the turtle. i amused myself by singing 'hey it's franklin!' quietly.] was just SPASTIC. she and her group won second
place for bootylicious. and...as the thing wore on she began to resemble christina aguilera more and more. she wouldn't stop moving around, and before the thing even began i had a headache cos i could hear her square bangle bracelets from across the frickin' centre court! after all the acts had finished the judges went away...and the previously mentioned music knob said anyone who wanted to get on stage and dance could [again...i thought of knocking cherakee out cold with my big arse granny purse because i could see it in her eyes that she wanted to.] and she was dancing like such a freak. mahdyna looked so annoyed as she tried to get her groove on in a central location.
heh, after we spotted some older girl dancing on the stage with huge arse sweat stains we laughingly checked our own pits and what do you know? i was like, sweating up a storm! it was probably cherakee radiating anxiety my way. cher nearly shit herself. i wanted to chop off her thumbs because she kept catching her sister's eyes and giving her a corny look of encouragement and the thumbs up, in case mahdyna was "losing hope." bah ha. altho, when is cherakee NOT radiating anxiety and rubbing her rubbery treefingers together in cold panic with a squelch and a squeal? i'm surprised cher doesn't have like...extremely irregular bowels. haha. i love cher. she's the best. she's a one woman whirling dervish most times. tres entertaining to watch. that is...when she's not watching you. and accusing you of constantly making bitter comments out of the corner of your mouth, even tho she does it herself. har.
oh how could i have forgotten! the third placer [who should have been second] looked quite a bit older than everyone else. i'm not sure what the age level was but i know that at 17, we were too old to enter. anyway. she did stronger by britney spears. she basically did the entire routine from the video [how many times did she have to watch the stupid thing to get it right? holy moses.] and she had the britney mannerisms down...the mouth and the hair touching. she even ripped off her shirt halfway through. ......to reveal some tight black early '90's 'everlast' croptop. it was so funny to see the smalltown gladrags. all the little girls in their tight sparkly cherokee jeans [um. to clarify: cherokee is a clothing brand sold at zellers,a canadian discount department store. cherakee is my best friend. altho, she is known to be fond of tight jeans herself...she is available at finer store everywhere.] and random tanktops and spouting glitter from every conceivable orifice. the fat ones busting out and probably feeling proud that they're a d cup already [but not feeling like they need to wear a bra! HELLO! pre-pubescent boobs are so...GROSS!], and the little scrawny ones that nearly got squashed in some dance numbers by the bigger ones, who don't have a hope in hell of ever filling out their tanktops. ok that sentence probably sounded really mean, but you weren't there now, WERE YOU. and we truely had a whole variety of sizes today...and i was actually quite proud of the heavier ones...and a bit sad too, because i know in 2 years they will feel like shit about themselves and their bodies and not leave the hosue in anything less than a burlap sack and a heavy layer of self loathing. i was proud of them for feeling like they could wear whatever they wanted and deserved to be on that stage jsut as much as the skinny ones. it probably hasn't ocurred to them yet that society views them as undesirable and defective. pity. enjoy the confidence while it lasts, girls.
i've been wearing my necklace backwards all day. good job colleen.
one of my wisdom teeth has cut the surface. i'm a big girl now!
frau2401&06:06 p.m. / i want to be a happy boy
audio: n/a
"who's the falsetto?"
-mom, after jj72's debut in the van's cd player....
my jj72 cd came today, and i feel like a total fuckwad. i make such a goddamn deal about paying the artist and blabbity blabbity...and then what do i do? i buy the cd after having every single track downloaded, and when the cd arrives it's marked PROMOTIONAL ONLY--NOT FOR SALE. it does NOT have an insert, it has a small biography on the back of the case but THAT'S IT! oh stupidstupidstupid. so, jj72 did not receive any money...and i received an insertless cd, and some snotnosed 'ironic' journalist [grrr...i just BET he/she considers themselves ironic. music journalists are annoying like that.] hit paydirt finding suckahs like myself on ebay!
so if ANYONE out there who likes me, or reads me and owns the jj72 cd...could you please scan it and just let me have a peek? please? i would like you....
scarah? ou est ton charmingdelusions? iiiEEE! all i get is the addr website! nooo)))))
man. i had stuff to say. ah well, no one's loss really...
thau2301&10:00 p.m. / the best of them bleed it out
audio: n/a
i used the bathroom tonight at work for the first time ever. yeah. i've worked there 11 months, by the way. sick 'n twisted. i had to pee, not THAT badly, but...i've read the green mile, alright? and i don't want a bladder infection. i tend to hold it. i go maybe 3 times a day tops [for amanda, that's like...the period between waking up and showering...] and alex said something about bladder infections and now i'm like...willing myself to pee.
hey it's not 10. my clock says it is, but it's NOT. stoopid.
i'm off to do quiet activites in my room. lord, i live life like i'm at camp. i schedule my days. tonight i will retire to my room and finish cleaning out my closet, which i started last night at 3 AM...and didn't finish cos i found some cool forgotten clothes. this is landmark that i'm cleaning out my closet. i have every article of clothing since ...grade 6? i've refused to give anything away, or even throw out the ratty stuff [...and there's....a lot of rart stuff. holy god, what a slob.]...for a reason i can't explain. it's like...i know something abd will happen if i do. it's not really a feeling i can communicate without getting dirty looks, but i feel no good will come of my parting with these old, ugly, out of style, ill fitting clothing. don't ask. i am a packrat of the sickest sort. if you saw my room...you'd know. i have a whole box of garbage, that i refuse to throw out...KNOWING that it's garbage, i feel like i CAN'T throw it out. it's from back in february, i used this box to throw my garbage in when iw as doing daily notes. however, this little box of garbage hasn't made it into the ACTUAL garbage...be...cause....i...can't bring myself to? anyway, i did my drawers...which were like museams of oversized t shirts. stained and ratty. so i took scissors to alot of them, put more than half in good will. i found my sailor moon shirts! rejoice! alex, rejoice! and then i turned to my tiny closet with the door that doesn't close and the floor that is occupied with more magazines than shoes. but i didn't finish. perhaps i will go finish!
speaking of daily notes....i flipped through them last night. right after they were done, after penny had seen them and everything...back in may, i HID them from myself. well, i knew where they were, but i put them in a place out of my path and sight and told myself not to look at them. because i hated them. no one else seemed to hate them, just me....and well...penny made me go back and do them, so i don't suppose he was such a fan. so i looked at them last night and i realised that they're damn good. they are FUCKING good. and you know what? penny knows it. he KNOWS my daily notes were good, but STILL he made me go back and do another one. like the fucking puppetmaster he is. he took extra time with mine...a WHOLE CLASS to look at them...when everyone elses' daily notes got 5 mintues, if they were lucky. he read my entries [longwinded] and examined my visuals [intricate]. and you know what? i think i frighten him. i'm not sure what part of me, or what i have to offer that could possibly threaten him, but i think i threaten the man. and i can't even tell you what makes me think think the man regards me with some caution, but i just do. he didn't get another daily notes like mine. i'm not about to do what everybody else is doing. am i a frightening commodity? damn if only i could scan my daily ntoes to show you what i mean....
weau2201&05:54 p.m. / it's just that easy
audio: n/a
when i grow up, i want to build and live in a cobhouse.
so anyway, my agenda for today...once i drag myself away from Weird Homes on the life network. goddamn i love those cobhouses. oh shit. martha stewart is on. eek. now i'll NEVER be able to turn the tv off...
-drop film off at iga.
-bring cher her mixtape.
-if time, bring amanda the retarded hairband of mine that she wants to borrow, and get my flower.
-take my cookies out of the fridge and bake them.
-take a shower and comb my hair.
-start ellen's mixtape
-vacuum my bed. for peace of mind.
weau2201&02:14 a.m. / & i'm a hostage who will drive
audio: n/a
ok ms. sarah, if you're such a smarty pants then, what in the fuck does abschicken mean in english?.
and where in the hell did that big green weird bug that was crawling up my wall moments ago get too?
colleen turns around and...and! and! and! *violins from psycho* DOOOOON'T LOOOOOK BEEEEHIIIIIND YOOOOOOOU!
weau2201&02:10 a.m. / one last time under the tahitian moon
audio: n/a
and what was harlis about, do you ask? well...a synopsis pour vous:
Komödie. Die Revue-Tänzerin (Mascha Rabben, l.) fragt sich, ob sie wegen des schönen Raymond ihre Freundin Pera (Gabi Larifari) verlassen soll? Pera jedoch will nicht verlieren, genauso wenig, wie die at-traktive Ria, die Raymond liebt, bereit ist diesen aufzugeben. Ein kurioses Liebeskarussell gerät in Gang ...
ahhh...i do so love doing searches in other languages. nice and confusing.
watch sarah translate and completely know what i'm talking about.
weau2201&02:04 a.m. / i can do it with instruments i can do it with my own bare hands
audio: n/a
the german film institute is quite the forboding place. holy manse, much? reminds me of that mike myers sketch. und now vee danse!
so...uhhh...what is it with me and german films?
weau2201&01:51 a.m. / nothin' uglier than a man hitting his stride
audio: n/a
"Your first name of Colleen has made you happiest when you are expressing in some creative, artistic way, and not conforming to strict routine. In a large group of comparative strangers, you are quiet and rather shy, unable to express yourself, not really wanting to become involved in conversation. On the other hand, among friends with whom you feel at ease, you are expressive, witty, and quite charming. These contrasting natures make it difficult for people to understand you and can lead to friction in your personal life. You are deep, philosophical, and refined, but your extremely sensitive nature causes you to become depressed and self-pitying over any real or imagined slight. If you are not careful, people take advantage of your generous nature. You find the beauties of nature, fine music, art, and literature--all the deeper things of life--inspiring. The reserved, sensitive side of your nature brings aloneness and friction into your life, although you crave affection and understanding. You must guard against emotional excesses, which could result in depletion of energy, creating a desire for quick-energy foods. You could suffer through skin irritations, blood conditions, back trouble, and later, through arthritis. Heart, lung, or bronchial weaknesses could also result. "
hmmm. how close is that? i'm not making the call, because i'm not objective. i'm not so sure it is all that close, but i'll say one thing: i am the queen of bronchial weaknesses. the lung and skin irritation thing too. and i was born jaundiced--blood conditions. i am also Our Lady of Perpetual Poor Posture and Pain...yeah, the back thing too.
someone help me find more information about this german movie that was on showcase the other night: harlis. it's from 1972. and it was...interesting, if not good. it kept my attention to say the very least. i am primarily concerned with the actress who played the title character, Mascha Rabben. she's like a a ghoulier milla jovovich.
moau2001&07:29 p.m. /
audio: n/a
oh right and i forgot: winmx, how do you work?
moau2001&06:22 p.m. /
audio: n/a
ok..sarah has a special 'colleen replies' section now? ha. now there's a friend. sarah would never put me on her invisible list...no NEVER....
jesus christ on a telephone pole my day has been insane. i stayed up last night until 5 AM...half scrubbing my walls/half painting. i get a call this morning @ 8 something, it's lisa from work. she's sick and can i take her shift? this is extrordinary because lisa is the assistant manager and and mostly on mondays and tuesdays it's just sheri and lisa, manager/MIT. so i get a six hour shift holy whistlin' moses. also, this is extrordinary becuase lisa is never really sick. but she is, and now i must work! because alex is away in cape breton and everyone else has other jobs. it's sad that it took me a moment to realise that lisa wasn't pranking me. lisa needs to stop pranking. i think i should tell lisa a little story about the boy who cried wolf. so off i trot to work for noon, in my new work shoes [like 5" platform ankle boots. hurt my feet like hell but i'm tall!] and not long into my shift i get a really, really mean customer. made me feel like an idiot...and when you think a customer thinks you're stupid, suddenly you start doing stupid things. but this woman was rude and unreasonable. hmph. anyway, it was a huge sale...$292. but man did i ever suffer for it. i EARNED it...and here's the arse kicker...: sheri rung the sale up for me...however, an argument breaks out between the 2 of them at the cash desk. sheri was telling this woman about our Nothern Friends Card.. because with this lady's purchase she could've earned like $30 in friends points right there beause she purchased 1) $300 worthof merchandise! and 2) pants, which is the item of the month which means that she gets double points on everything she bought. confusing, i know, but jsut take my word for it. long story short [or...shorter], the woman would be able to purchase $30 worth of clothes free..cos she would have had like $30 points on her card. the woman was saying that she didn't think that she would get a card [cos it cost $5. woman, cough up the $5..you get the $5 back on your next purchase ANYWAY! but she felt like we were "pressuring" her into buying again...hello? this from a woman who minutes before claimed she buys all her clothes at northern anyway. the card is for FREQUENT_SHOPPERS_! d-u-h] becuase she was such a frequent shopper [BANGBANG!_WASHHANDS_DISPOSEOFBODY_CONCOCTALIBI...holy god..that's the point of the card....!] she thought the company should do "something better" to reward "frequent shoppers" [insert grinding of teeth HERE] like herself. sheri said "well, you are being rewarded...we're offering you $30 worth of free merchandise!" but the woman insisted that she wasn't being "rewarded enough". bitch. so anyway, point of diatribe: sheri forgot to memo the sale to me as she was arguing with the lady and ringing up her sale. what this means is that the sale is registered as sheri's. my $300 sale...the highest sale i've ever had, and the one with the biggest personal price...was not in the computer as MY sale at all. and there's no way to reverse that. i discovered this while sheri was at lunch, and of course it was all purely accidental...it happens. ESPECIALLY when you're arguing with some insane rude woman. sheri kept apologising and apologising and really i didn't care...i just wanted the sales figures adjusted. sheri gave me the rest of her sales for the afternoon cos she's trying to pay me back, and i got an immunity in our survivor contest. WHICH by the way..this week is the last week, and i am still fiirmly in 3rd place [but i consider myself in first...because the manger and MIT are in 2nd and 1st. i'm the highest ranked part timer...] and already i have 2 immunities. one more and i don't get any strikes!
i was also kept busying running around taking polaroids of things. that's a long story. but the store bought me polaroid film. kickarse.
so my feet kill. and i HAVE to go take a picture of amanda's crippled gimpy cat with it's retarded funnel. i've cancelled on her twice ...i'm a bad friend. i'll just have to hoist my exhausted, sore body up to her house. oi.
alex is gone to shittycamp. har. OK fine...she's in cheticamp. and...last night i served her lukewarm water, and couldn't understand why she was asking for ice cubes. turns out, the water cooler was like, unplugged. whoops. sorry for thinking ill of your ice cube request alex dear. and the second you left my house i filled up a bucket with hot water and pine sol and started scrubbing my room. both amanda and alex have threatened to clean my room. surely it's a sign. black and white is a retarded fucked up movie.
caution: to avoid eyestrain do not attempt to follow plot. ogle robert downey jr. instead.
bah. someone remind me to tell my other workstory from today. it involves a caravan of old people [10 million walkers and wheelchairs] being frightened by alvin and the chipmunks.
and the store stunk today. they were tarring the roof of the mall, and they were right above us. it was like...burnt rubber and burnt hair. great combo. i was so dizzy and nausious from it.
dinner? where be ye? oh and are my emils invisible i NEVER write emails...and within the last week i've written 3. so robin, andrew ross and my father? get yer arse in gear and RESPOND like a polite individual....
saau1801&11:32 p.m. / now the people will know we were here. INUKSHOOK!
audio: spinal tap
dude where's my car is hands down the best movie of the year. guys kissing is HOT. says amanda: now i don't know what to say...now. wait//ok. yes, we recommend this movie because a) guys kissing IS hot and b) "i know your body". want to know MY body?
aaannnnd...thank you for that. no, but watch it with a healthy dose of irony. yes it is stupid. but then again, so are you.
next stop, dvd.
saau1801&12:39 a.m. / she sits on broadway with a rattle
audio: n/a
because i am ALSO very bored.:
WALLET: pink with a chinese symbol and something like 'whatever'. or some such shite. it has....er, well no paper money but i'm fucking rich with pennies. and like 12 quarters, holy god. i have various cards. debit card, library card, social insurance, beginner's permit with my righteous photograph, optimum card, blockbuster card etc.
BRUSH: there's a black and silver vidal sasson dealy in my room. but i really don't tend to tend to my hair. that's mainly for...other people i guess? people who sleep over and such. if i DO actually try and care for my hair i use an avon detangler comb. oh ha...i got a basket of vidal sasson brushes one xmas [so i have 5 or 6 of these. plus a hand mirror. whatever.]...and i remember it was the xmas right after i got my hair cut short. i remember the irony.
is there actually a guy out there named vidal sasson?
TOOTHBRUSH: i have an electric one that buzzes and hums like a vibrator. lots of fun at sleepovers. i can't brush my teeth around my friends, they find it too amusing. it's braun oral b...or something?
JEWLERY WORN DAILY: i'm too much of a schizo to wear jewelry daily. too much of a hassle. and also i have more jewelry than the average person. since my birthday i've tried to wear my grandma's ring and/or my crown ring at elast weekly. does that count?
PILLOW COVER: none. there are no sheets on my bed, and there haven't been for a year. i sleep on a bare mattress. however, if you're interested, i have 2 simmons beautyrest pillows. one has spots of black atercolour paint, and the other has blood from a nose bleed.
BLANKET: i have a navy w/ gold 'sun moon stars' comforter. i lay that on my mattress and sleep on that. oh great, now y'all are gonna think i live in a crackhouse! i'm not neglected, really....i CHOSE to sleep this way...
COFFEE CUP: none. i don't drink coffee.
SUNGLASSES: i am currently wearing a pair of amber aviators that are more rectangular with rounded edges. i HAVE a pair of aviators...my famous trucker sunglassses that everyone made fun of, but i loved and then they became fashionable and i LAUGHED. but they're too bent out of shape. and i can't find my notorious tortoiseshell movie star glasses from grade 7. poop.
SHOES: that i wear often? well...i'm currently living in my mock-wooden beige flipflops [and will continue to live in until we have a foot of snow and mom will forcefully wrench them off my feet...], i wear these big platform dealies for work [that now permanently smell like doritos...ie: my foot stench from the hours i've spent labouring in them] i have a couple pair of platform running shoes [but i hate non-open toed shoes. my feet can't been cooped up.], 4 inch grey mary jane platforms..a couple pair on non descript black platform/wedge slides, my prized blue flipflops with the fake flowers on them from TWO years ago, BEFORE they were popular. oh and i ordered a pair of black ankle platforms that should arrive tomorrow. i am tres excited. so...bottomline for shoes: if it ain't platform or flip flops i won't wear them.
NAILPOLISH: don't wear any. my claws go naked....
KEYCHAIN: well, i don't have any keys. BUT i should be getting a car key once kathryn leaves for university, and once that happens i'm putting it on my SUPERGRASS keychain that alex gave me. i have a couple colleen keychains as well...and a couple hello kitty ones on my back pack.
COMPUTER: NEC. w/ DAYTEK monitor.
FAVOURITE TOP: supergrass shirt.
FAVOURITE PANTS: my brand fucking new cranberry 'utility flare' CORDOROYS from mavi. i heart cords. and these ones are kind to my thighs....
SHAMPOO CONDITIONER: er? for starters, expensive special red shampoo for my hair colour ["bonfire red"], and this expensive conditioner i got for my birthday. but for everyday shampoo? whatever is in there. and at the moment kathryn's home so i just use hers. however, when she leaves again, i will be forced to develop my own shampoo identity.
PERFUME: none, i bathe...
CD IN THE STEREO RIGHT NOW: none! i'm sorry...i haven't used it like ALL summer. jsut for mixtapes...
CAR: lumina van named "blue lightnin'" it's the kind that has the pointy nose. yeah, the spaceshippy kind. i have a big family.
TELEVISION: uhhh...my own personal one is "durabrand". [ie: brand x]...the one in mom's room is mustard yellow and 14 inches and from 1975. and the family one is newer, and bigger and i have no idea what brand.
STEREO: mine is an RCA.
TELEPHONE: er...it's lavender and i suspect it's from the home shopping channel. it's from my HSC crazy nanny. i decorated it with nailpolish it now says: TALK.
CELLPHONE: don't have one. we're technologically retarded. or rather, mom is.
1. Open up your CD player, what's inside?: all sorts of things colleen should not touch.
2.Look in your VCR, is there a movie?: NO! shit..no cd, now no movie! i'm so boring. but i can tell you that the last tape was billy, billy elliot. a fine movie. alas it is blockbuster's fine movie and they usually want theirs back.
3. If there happens to be music playing right now, what is it?: all i hear are crickets.
4. What are you wearing?: dark grey underwear, white bodybra, blue bathrobe w/ butterflies...the one without the tie that i demurely hold together. and a hair elastic and a devil-may-care-come-get-me-boys grin. oh yes. OH WAIT! my crown ring, my silver bracelet, and my silver Been-Caught Stealing mirror necklace/neckwear thinger.
5. Look down, what's the first thing that catches your eye?: my boobs. they're hard to miss. oh wait...do you mean look at the floor? ok hang on...:a dinosaur.
6. Turn on your TV if it's not on already, what network is it?: showcase. i was watching red shoe diaries this morning [shuddup]...and you know what? i just turned it on and it's the exact same thing i was watching @ 3 in the morning.
7. Look out the window, what's the weather like?: can't tell it's DARK.
8. If you were to hit redial on your phone right now, where would it call?: hmmmm. you know, i'm not sure. i don't think i've dialed my phone in days. it's 1 in the morning so i can't try. but probably amanda or alex. my friends. maybe even cherakee.
9. Say "hello?" out loud, did anyone answer?: no, but my brother stopped snoring.
10. What are you planning on doing next as soon as you get offline?: watching the lofters. arting in my room.
and do you know what that made me realise? that my sister and i are given appliances in tandem. we have the EXACT same stereo, brand x tv, and lavender phone. the stereos for our birthdays in 1996, the tvs xmas '00 from dad, and the phones some xmas before we moved to NS. WHY? kathryn and i are 3 years and 10 MILLION LIGHTYEARS APART. we are so fucking different. i understand wanting to group us together because there are 2 daughters and 2 sons in our family...and because my parents had their children in shifts and theres a huge gap betwen my brothers and then my sister and 1 [10+ years in some cases]...but at this point when i'm 17 and she's 20...like, we've proven since the age of 1.5 and 4.5 that we are radically different and dislike each other. why are we still lumped together as one unit? dear god at least they've stopped dressing us alike. well, that would be impossible now seeing as kathryn is 6 feet tall and rail thin, and i am 5 foot 4 and...NOT. i understand andrew and james, my brothers, being consdiered as one unit because there's only a scant 20 months between them and really, boys are personalityless little creatures. they don't care either way, they'll play together. ARG. but yes, they used to dress us alike. and it sucked to be me, because after we grew out of our duo outfits i got HERS and she got something new.
thau1601&09:51 p.m. / the blessed difference between looking good and feeling good
audio: ymaelodi a'r ymylon - super furry animals
god damn i'm a sexy creature! how do people keep their hands off me?
thau1601&01:35 p.m. / look at all the poor bastards
audio: could have gone mad - poe
my font size needs a spanking. STOP_IT. someone fix it, k?
last night at 12:30, after completing every facet of cherakee's mixtape save for the liner novels, i sat on my bed and wondered what to do next. i decided to hang [ie: ducttape on me wall] some of the 'creative pieces' i've done recently on my wall [dare i call it art? or skillfully recycled garbage? either way, whitelaw would not be pleased.] as well as re-hang the ones that fell down. i've taken to displaying all the pieces i've done this summer on my closet door. last night i ran out of space. on the one hand i'm sort of proud of myself for being so productive with my summer hours, on the other hand: where the hell are the rest going to go? i look around at my ugly battle scarred walls, ugly enough with the pink and blue hearts n' plaid, and mutant cow wallpaper...the marker i scribbled seemingly everywhere was not a help. i started peeling the wall paper off my walls way at the beginning of the summer. i hadn't gotten back to it. i'm tired of having every fit i've ever taken in the past year documented on my walls. it's so adolescent. i'm tired of having friends up to my room and trying to talk to them, and noticing how distracted they are by my walls. i'm tired of looking up from a movie and over at my friend to see them not watching the movie at all, but instead, my walls. it meakes me...sheepish. and i don't know why. so, it's gone. it took about an hour, and i have about one wall left, but it's gone. ding dong.
and hey, maybe i'll sell each panel for money...that'll get me to greece. $5/section, taking orders now. hmmm...what about ebay? pliable. they're practically art.
it was easy work too. it jsut came rolling down. off came alex's sting quote, and i've yet to take down the section with amanda's misspelled radiohead lyrics. off came the section by my bed first...and i'm glad because it was the worst part. it had the most shit scribbled on it. it had my 'i'd love to stay here and be normal but then it's just so over rated' banner that i flew proudly over my bed so that i'd remember it. and knowing that the wallpaper was going to come down in the last month or so, i've halfway thought of maybe photographing it for posterity. but i'm glad that i didn't. it would be one of those things i insist on keeping [of which there are a lot of], that i think i'll want to look back on, but when i do it's only upsetting. so there you have it. i didn't, and i'm glad. it's sitting in a pile in my room and i way go back through it and write down a couple of the things i had written on there, because some of it was damn funny. i'd forgotten that i'd stabbed the walls in a couple places, and slashed at the paper and those parts were alitle hard to remove, because the paper was in about 10 million tiny slivers. i guess my knife is sharper than i thought. i meant to carve, but didn't think i could.
the only place i hesitated was by my door, where cherakee had drawn all those circles on canada day. i liked those. i thought of drawing my triangles next to them, and say that they were dating. but down they came.
now i have beige and pink walls. see, the entire wallpaper did not come off. i need some sort of solution and sharp metal object to scrape it ALL off. the printed coloured top section of the wallpaper came off. and now i have like...the wallpaper skivvies. it looks like cardboard and i half thought about painting something on it. but then i stopped myself and said "colleen, don't start. why are you taking OFF your wallpaper?"
i'm not sure if mom will be happy or annoyed. because i know she hated my walls. she hated the "curse words"..but i know she'd want me to do it properly...she'll surely have a problem with me having wallpaper skivved walls for a year. i won't have a chance to fix it. my room isn't big enough and i have too much stuff to clear it out for a proper repainting. perhaps i'll just tell her to leave it like that until i move out in a year's time. that was another reason. i'm leaving in a year. i didn't want to have to leave cows and scribbles for a dorm room. that's a gap i probably couldn't bridge.
weau1501&08:08 p.m. / the city's alive, and surprise! so am i
audio: terrible thought - poe
i'm alive, and somehow so is snogged. it begged and pleaded for it's life and so it lives another day. we're back, commie style. cast off your possessions and love your brother.
poe is munsterlicious.
i'm retiring to my boudoir. take the phone off the hook woman, i shant be taking calls.
( DOMAINS )